I too have gone through losing the family dog(s). It took me a whole year to finally come to terms with Maddie no longer at home. It took me four days to find closure when Patrick passed away. Losing your pet will be different for every person and for every pet.
Did I Move On Too Soon?
You should never feel guilty for moving on faster from one animal than you have from another. I loved Patrick more than I could ever explain. But for me, knowing that he was once again with Maddie made me feel like everything is going to be okay. That the world isn't spinning out of control. I want you to ask yourself one question if this pertains to you. Did you give them love and attention? The answer you are looking for is yes, you gave them life...and a home... and love! You taught them what it was like to be important and matter. Although they are passed, and you miss them more than ever, what you had was special. All of those memories that you continue to look back on are what puts a smile on your face. They will never be forgotten, and will forever have a special place in your heart.
Remembrance
I miss them and knowing that I won't ever get to give them hugs and kisses makes me want to cry. It makes me hold on to what I have lost. But I want you to look at it from a different perspective, that doesn't leave you in a puddle of tears. Everything that you keep holding on to is what made you so happy, these animals don't have a long life. But what we can provide for them means everything. Knowing that Patrick was spoiled rotten, pampered every week, taken to a puppy farm instead of a kennel and making friends brings me joy.
All of these things have given me the closure I needed because Patrick's death is not what defines him. His cancer and an enlarged heart are not what I want to remember him by every time I think of him. That is what we all tend to do is remember them by their struggle in their final moments. But what you need to remember them by is the life that you had provided for them, the love that was shared between you both, and the memories that you will forever cherish.
Any Cup of Guilt Leftover
Patrick was abused before we had rescued him. He was so skiddish, but my parents brought his personality out more than he has ever done with anyone else, including me. My parents feel this stone weighing down on their shoulders of complete guilt. The guilt of not getting to be with him in person in his last final moments. They took their trip that they have been wanting to do their whole 20 years of marriage and when they both finally had gotten to go on that trip, their best friend passed away. Think of how that could put a complete damper on their trip. I felt awful, knowing that they wouldn't get the closure that I did when I put him to sleep. I know he is okay but my parents are not. If you never got a chance to be there in their final moments, there might be a reason.
I truly believe that it was best my parents weren't there. I knew I needed to be strong for Patrick and to comfort him, and if my parents were the ones to be here for him, he wouldn't have been able to stay calm. My parents would never have been able to stay strong. He wouldn't have been able to feel comfortable in the oxygen cage knowing my parents were in the other room. He wouldn't have been able to peacefully fall asleep, but be whimpering in fear of what was about to happen. There is a reason for everything so just know, it's not important how they left the world, what's important is what they did in it.
You Aren't Replacing Them
Getting another pet should never be a damper on your last pet's life, and where they stand in your heart. No matter how soon you get another animal, you should never feel guilty. No matter what anyone believes, you aren't replacing them. Animals will pass away, but there will always be another animal in need of some TLC and a home. I know that many feel guilty of getting another dog too soon after one's passing. But what is defined as "too soon" versus enough time passed? Many feel guilty of not helping another dog in need of a home because you have one to offer now. But it is also okay to have a little time or as much time as one needs after one's passing before getting another pet. Whatever situation you are currently in, you shouldn't feel guilty. Everyone processes loss in many different ways, and that is okay. Whatever you decide, however long time has passed by, it is okay and nothing will ever erase your loved ones past.
