38 Thoughts You Have While Grocery Shopping

38 Thoughts You Have While Grocery Shopping

"Produce is so complicated."
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Unless you're brave enough to go grocery shopping in the middle of the night or at the break of dawn like some people you know, you dread going more than almost anything else. It is stressful, overwhelming, and leaves you feeling exhausted and annoyed. For me, walking into the grocery store- falling into line with all the people shuffling in- makes me feel somewhat like a cow being herded into a slaughterhouse. (Yeah, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but I hate it, okay?) You find yourself getting aggravated at every little thing, taking deep breaths, and wondering why you did this to yourself.

1. "Wow, none of these idiots know how to park."

You say to yourself after circling two or three times only to still have to park half a mile away.

2. "People are purposely walking slowly in front of me. I'm sure of it."

You know this sounds weird and paranoid but what other reason would people have for moving in such slow motion?!

3. "Okay, I have a list, so I should be out of here in no time, right?"

4. "Why are there so many different kinds of apples?"

5. "Produce is so complicated."

It looks so inviting to pick up, but it's a trap.

6. "What even is a rutabaga?"

7. "Why is healthy food so expensive?"

I could pay $6 for these bananas, but for $6 I could also get like 3 bags of chips, soo...

8. "Yes, thank you, stop and have a conversation in the middle of the aisle."

Then when I say the obligatory, "Excuse me, sorry," you can respond with "That's okay."

9. "I actually need nothing in the frozen section, but I see ice cream."

Blue Bell just came back into my life. You can't expect me to just ignore it.

10. "I need to get some Lean Cuisines... Oh look, pizza rolls."

11. "Shouldn't all the canned goods be in one place instead of spread out over four different aisles?"

Seriously, I shouldn't have to walk to a different side of the store to get a can of tomato sauce.

12. "The bread aisle always smells weird."

Why do I even buy bread? I'm never able to eat it all before it goes bad.

13. "Is it socially acceptable for me to buy Spaghetti O's? What about pudding cups?"

14. "Actually I'm never having children because they cry."

I know you can't just shut your kid up that easily but I don't want to hear them screaming because you won't buy them Gogurt.

15. "I forgot to check and see if I have milk."

I know I have milk, but is it still good? Do I even need milk to begin with?

16. "I can't believe I can be trusted to navigate this place on my own."

Adulting can be so hard sometimes. I don't belong here.

17. "Oreos aren't actually on my list, but only I know that."

18. "They have 300 different kinds of cereal but not the one I'm looking for. Oh, okay."

19. "Just kidding, there it is. I just passed it up twice."

Oopsies.

20. "Oh crap, I forgot butter and it's on the other side of the store."

Is it worth it to go back? Nah.

21. "Ew, I see someone I know."

I didn't brush my hair today and I'm not really feeling a friendly conversation. *walks in the other direction*

22. "I was going to go down this aisle but there are too many people so I can just do without."

23. "MOVE!"

24. "Hahaha only one check out lane is open."

Smiling through the pain.

25. "*%&#&@"

I'd elaborate but I have family reading this.

26. "Why is this happening?"

At this point, you don't even know what that question is directed at.

27. "Yes, cashier, I did buy pudding cups. Stop judging me. "

I just came here to get groceries and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now.

28. "Soooo close."

29. "OMG I just spent enough money to feed a small family in Africa."

30. "Aaaaand I've been in here for over an hour."

I'm actually surprised it's still daylight outside.

31. "Still, I feel so accomplished."

I won't have to come back to this place for a while now.

32. Walking out: "Crap, I forgot ketchup."

Again, my list has failed me. Or I've failed myself, I'm not sure which.

33. Loading your car: "I also forgot printer ink."

Why did I even make a list?

34. Driving home: "And light bulbs."

Stupid list.

35. Pulling into your driveway: "Oh, I needed eggs too."

*tears up list*

36: Putting groceries away: "I'm too tired, so I'll just put the refrigerated ones away and take a break, then do the others later."

After a quick nap, maybe.

37. "I'm never going back to the grocery store."

You couldn't pay me to go back there.

38. "Oh, I have to go back tomorrow."

You realize you forgot something you actually have to have, and all you can do is sigh.

Cover Image Credit: www.postconsumers.com

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6 Times It’s Actually OK To Be Rude To Retail Workers

It might surprise you.

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As a retail worker myself, I know firsthand that customers aren't always the kindest to the employees trying to help them out.

I've seen customers snapping at workers, getting angry when things don't go their way, and leaving huge messes around the store that employees have to clean up. Retail employees have to work hard on their feet for very little pay, and they deserve to be treated with kindness for the work they put in.

Here are 6 times that it's OK to treat retail employees with anything less than respect.

1. Never

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Retail employees are trying their best to help you out – customer service is the main part of their jobs, and they really do make an effort to help customers find what they're looking for, even when they ask for something unreasonable. Snapping at employees isn't going to speed up the process.

2. Never

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Contrary to popular (and bewilderingly misguided) belief, retail employees have very little control over the contents of the store. If the shirt you wanted to buy isn't in stock in your size, it's not the employee's fault. I repeat: it's not the employee's fault! They're just the bearer of bad news and can't fix the situation for you.

3. Never

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Retail employees do have to keep the store clean, but that doesn't mean that customers should feel free to make a mess. When you leave trash in the store and a tangled heap of clothing in the fitting room, they're the ones who have to clean up after you.

Also, when you tear up a display looking for your size, someone has to refold and reorganized all of those clothes, and can you guess who that has to be?

4. Never

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Many retail employees have to work terrible hours, what with overnight shifts and having to open the store early in the morning or close it down late at night. Most of them are exhausted and are doing the best work they can on that amount of sleep.

5. Never

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Keep in mind that yelling at a retail employee when you get frustrated does count as verbal abuse, and it is never acceptable. This makes a huge impact on retail employee's days (as one would expect being yelled at by a stranger might entail).

6. Never

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Even if you're feeling frustrated about something, please stop for a moment and continue to treat the employees trying to help you like they're human beings. No one deserves to be mistreated at work.

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College Students Have 4 Main Food Groups

Be sure to get these foods in order to have a successful and healthy college career.

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As Buddy the Elf mentioned in "Elf", the four main food groups for elves are candy, candy cane, candy corn, and syrup. Now, it's time to forget about what they taught us in health class about nutrition because what a college student eats is way different from what we relied on in high school. Our health teachers in high school told us fruits, vegetables, grains, and dairy were the food groups humans needed to be healthy. However, college students have a different food group and lifestyle that what we learned in our health class. Here are the four food groups you need in order to survive college:

1. Energy drinks

Whether you have to pull an all nighter as a result of procrastinating on a 10 page paper, or simply need a simple boost of energy, these will get the job done (even though they might not be the healthiest choice.) Red Bulls, Monsters, and 5-Hour Energy Drinks are just a few examples of some energy drinks. Just be careful not to become addicted to them as they are full of sugar. These are perfect for the all nighter, and for the days you feel tired and don't want to get out of bed.

2. Coffee

Are energy drinks not your favorite? If so, then coffee is an essential for college. Whether if you are into iced coffee, lattes, decaffeinated coffees, or black coffee, there is a coffee out there for everyone. Also, you can choose to brew your coffee at home with a coffee maker or a keurig, or make a Dunkin or Starbucks stop before class. Coffee is great for staying focused during class and completing homework projects and assignments outside of class.

3. Gum

Remember in grade school how teachers did not like when you chewed bubble gum? Well in college, it's totally different. You can chew as much bubble gum as you like and nobody can judge you for the amount of gum you chew! From the traditional mint flavor bubble gum to more obscure ones, there is a flavor for everyone to chew on. This is perfect for getting through boring lectures, and it makes you more focused. Plus, you can be a good person and share your bubble gum with others. It is a way to spark up a conversation, and a way to stay focused during your college career.

4. Microwave meals

Let's face reality, most first year college students come into the semester with little to no cooking skills. Thus, microwavable meals become an essential. Whether you are tired of the on campus dining food, or do not have enough money on your meal plan, these become your best friend (again, not the healthiest choice, but you have to do what you have to do sometimes). From ramen, mac n cheese, and popcorn you can make almost anything with the push of a button on the microwave. These meals are great because they are not time consuming, your meal will be ready in a few short minutes as opposed to cooking a meal over the stove or oven. Just remember to brush up on your cooking skills so you can start cooking as you transition out of college.

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