Here are just a few of the reasons why I am salty as fuck:

1. I am triggered when my roommates don't wash their dishes for two days and it's like a volcano about to explode

2. I am triggered when there is a boob gap when I wear a button down

3. I am triggered when the line for ABP is too long and I am late for class

4. I am triggered when cars don't hit me at a pedestrian walk so I have to pay my own tuition


5. I am triggered when buses see me running toward the bus and leave anyway...

6. I am triggered when my socks fall down and feel like there is a lego in my shoe

7. I am triggered when WOMEN WEAR YOGA PANTS AND NORTS TO CLASS

8. I am triggered when someone sits in my unassigned assigned seat and I can't talk to my friends during class

9. I am triggered when my seedless grapes aren't really seedless

10. I am triggered when people pronounce "crayon" as "crown"

11. I am triggered when the same dude keeps deleting you from Snapchat, and then keeps re-adding you to be nosy

12. I am triggered when there are no weights that I can lift and can't get swole

13. I am triggered when a bitch is too busy texting and not squatting

14. I am triggered when people wear white socks with black tennis shoes

15. I am triggered when Qudoba only give me one scoop of queso, not one and a half

16. I am triggered when dudes drunk FaceTime you and disrupt your beauty sleep

17. I am triggered by emotions.


18. I am triggered when people say some nasty shit over text, but stroke like a 4-year-old finger painting


19. I am triggered when the head is 100%, but the dick feels like you just drank a bottle of NyQuil


20. I am triggered when my laundry takes 3 dryer cycles to completely dry and then you burn yourself trying to get it out

21. I am triggered when my Hot Pocket burns my mouth and feels like lava.

22. I am triggered when the Pinterest recipe lies and you end up burning the food, even though you followed the instructions exactly


23. I am triggered when your friends try to set you up with their weird friend who probably lives with their parents still and sells spice to middle schoolers for 60$ for an 1/8th.


24. I am triggered when gas is $2.50 a gallon and not 5 cents like it should be

25. I am triggered when my best friend doesn't want to listen to my drama for two hours

26. I am triggered when my main hoe and side hoe are busy so you sit there like...


27. I am triggered when a customer doesn't tell me "you too" when I say "Have a good day"

28. I am triggered when people say triggered too much

29. I am triggered when someone throws out the Cookout I have been saving in your fridge for 3 days

30. I am triggered when I just did laundry, and I can't find any matching socks

31. I am triggered when my ho-tation falls apart and dudes realize that I am a fuck

32. I am triggered when I miss happy hour by 5 minutes, and they won't give me the happy hour prices

33. I am triggered when I see anyone I know from high school

34. I am triggered every time I see a person I used to fuck with existing in my general area


35. I am triggered when everyone I used to know is pregnant, married, a drug addict, or doing more successful things than me

36. I am triggered when frat dudes wear shorts with Nikes and mid-calf socks.

37. I am triggered by how triggered I am.