30 Things I Googled In The ER At 4 A.M. | The Odyssey Online
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Health and Wellness

30 Things I Googled In The ER At 4 A.M.

It was a wild ride, y'all.

 Harper Stephens
Oct 25, 2016
Truman State University
22
30 Things I Googled In The ER At 4 A.M.
Harper Stephens

Friday night — or rather, very early Saturday morning — my roommate was having very severe, lower, abdominal pains. We left our dorm at 1 a.m. and got back around 7 a.m. That gave us a lot of time to just sit and chat and pile up a bunch of questions. Getting to the point of the night where your brain just goes to mush and you have a lot of extra time on your hands, you come up with a pretty story-worthy search history on Google. After spending the night in the emergency room, this is the list that I had searched for on the internet:

1. What does 78/54 blood pressure mean?

2. Luke Hemming’s lip ring

3. What’s in a drip bag?

4. How many bananas do you have to eat to overdose on Potassium?

5. “It’s an avocado, thanks” vine 10-hour version

6. How to actually do your homework and not just watch Grey’s Anatomy

7. Was Humpty Dumpty an egg?

8. Did One Direction actually break up?

9. Does Germ-X actually kill 99.9% of germs?

10. Houses for rent near me

11. What causes eye crusties and what are they?

12. Why can’t I divide by zero?

13. How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

14. Why do I get pimples?

15. How to get free things legally

16. Brisk Raspberry Tea in bulk

17. How to be good at math overnight

18. How to graduate college in a month

19. Cheap vacation spots for broke college students

20. Why do I bruise and how does it happen?

21. Should I go to sleep for an hour or pull an all-nighter?

22. Why did I let myself get so far behind on homework?

23. How to finish a project in an hour

24. How to pass college without knowing anything

25. Why do I talk in my sleep?

26. How to get along with stupid people

27. Andrew Garfield’s butt

28. Andrew Garfield vs Garfield the cat

29. Baby pigeon

30. How to delete your search history

This night was truly a wild ride, start to finish. I got back to our room around 7 a.m., having spent the last six hours in a hospital, I submitted this article that you are currently reading, my roommate still at the hospital with an appendicitis, and I started getting ready to go to the homecoming parade that is in two hours. It has been a crazy 24 hours and I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight and forget that all of this happened.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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