The first few years of a relationship are always roses and peaches. You both are inseparable and days together are exciting. Every date is an adventure, filled with more to love and you learn more about each other’s interests, dreams, goals and career decisions.

If we jump to lets say at least five years, – of course wonderful years that they were - don’t get me wrong but now life wants its turn in this relationship. Life doesn’t want to share a home with love, so it challenges love and puts people in love to the test. I’ve seen many of my friends suffer through this. Many are college graduates and recently married, so bills, rent, mortgages and budgeting for other expenses come into full effect after college. My friends in college are challenged with course overload and non-stop work, for college tuition and loans. They struggle with having life impacting their love life. This is something I’m way too accustomed to. That once spontaneous love affair is now turned into a routine! Being that this is normal, I have found a way to keep things thriving and juicy. Here are some suggestions to continue with sparks in your relationship.

1. SET A “COUPLE TIME” I am not a huge fan of having time because he eats all my years and days away so quickly. However, when every day starts feeling like routine, why not implement fun activities. In sex, we are talking about the occasional hand job, blowjob, anal and much more. In a communicative way, you can ask each other about your day and what was thrilling about it and what wasn’t. This opens a new door to communication and the dating of “dating again.” For dinner, you can have take-out or cook a special cuisine every night that is different from your normality. You are basically creating new memories and exciting moments with your partner. If you do take that time to change routine and spend the time differently and together, you can break a monotonous schedule we fall into. Remember also to have fun and laugh, even the corny and random activity are the ones that will stay forever in your mind.
2. Have nothing to talk about?Does it feel like most conversations end up being about people from work, or what you have read on social media? Well, there is a biggie on why it can feel boring in a relationship; we fall into what I like to think of as a habitual conversation. It’s a reoccurring conversation that happens every single day. STOP! Sparking a conversation is awkward, especially when it isn’t natural. Yet, a healthy relationship requires for both of you to keep growing together, and this is a part of the challenge. You should always be digging into your partner’s mind and trying to find something new about him/her. You will be surprised with what he/she hasn’t yet said to you before. A good way to do this is finding something that had stood out in your own day and figuring a way to talk about it with your significant other. (This reminds me of those 1920’s plays, where a wife would spark a conversation about a random object, for example, a ballet shoe, and the husband would be reading a newspaper; he will only start talking when he felt she was crazy!) This can be about anything! From something spiritual to money to politics or even about a little gossip you heard about your friends. Bring it up, so that sitting won’t be awkward and that the air is full of conversation. It’s great to know what your partner thinks about certain things that you might approve, but they don’t.
3. THERE IS NOTHING TO DO!This is my favorite one. We use this as the biggest excuse for everything. So we end up watching TV with a marathon of shows. PLEASE! PLEASE, I BEG YOU, DON’T! IT'S-A TRAP! I’ll go on my knees and beg, just don’t do that. That’s just a NO NO! There is ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS, something to do; you should need to be creative about it and take the time to do it. Why not take a trip to the downtown area and check out some stores or go to the park. Instead of TV why not challenge your partner to Twister or Monopoly. You can even go for a walk and explore the neighborhood. Exercising in your relationship will help keep the relationship alive. And if this isn’t your idea of spending time, then have a romantic evening, filled with exotic dreams coming to life. My darlings, make the effort to do something with your partner, it is just a time where you both can rekindle that romance air. Hell, turn it into date night. Keeping and finding this spark burning is what allows for a relationship to flourish. It can definitely help strengthen your relationship.

I want to see you all succeed in love.

Until next time, J.