It is very common to get wrapped up in a relationship and want to make someone else your entire life. We’ve all been there where you let someone control your happiness and let yourself get taken over by a relationship. In our twenties, we are still trying to find ourselves and get as much out of life as we possibly can. This is not the time to let someone else control you or your life. This is not to say relationships are bad and true love is fake. This is to remind you to not let yourself ever come after anyone else and to take control of your life. Don’t ever let someone else tell you what to do and don’t let the fear of a partner getting upset with you stop you from chasing your dreams. Real love is having someone love you for everything you are and trusting you enough to go out in the world, conquer your goals and come back to that person. Real love is being able to do whatever you want (without cheating, of course) and knowing your partner is going to be there encouraging you. This realization most likely comes from experience, but it’s time to evaluate your life and to cut people off who may be trying to belittle you and your dreams. Here are some specific ways on how to have a mature relationship.
1. Trust
Always trust your partner and don’t settle for someone who doesn’t trust you. Nothing will damage your goals more than someone trying to prevent you from doing something because they don’t trust you. In life, you will travel, go on business trips and meet new people. There is no sense is being with someone who doesn’t believe you will do the right thing. If someone is going to be unfaithful, nothing you say can stop them, so let them do their thing and you do your thing and trust everything will be okay. A worried mind never gets you anywhere.
2. Ambition
Find someone who has just as much ambition as you do. It will only end in disaster if one person in the relationship is more ambitious than the other. Misery loves company, so don’t let your partner try to bring your ambitious ways down. You need a partner who will push you to be better and to never let you settle for less than what you can achieve. If you have a goal, your partner should be the first person to say, “You can do this.” Both people can be successful together and that comes with maturity.
3. Being Chill
This one definitely comes from experience. We have all been in a situation or relationship where we need to step back and let the other person do what they want. Making someone else your entire life will drive you crazy and the reaction to this is not being chill. Being chill means letting your partner go out and hang out with their friends or go out of town and being okay with it. This means being okay with not seeing them all day, every day.
Puppy love is fun sometimes. However, during a time when we should be building our future and creating the life we want to live, putting someone else first just isn’t smart. Don’t let anyone accuse you of doing wrong when you aren’t because false accusations will drive you crazy. Don’t settle for someone who isn’t excited for your future and don’t let anyone tell you what to do. You have your professors, parents and coaches telling you to things you don’t want all the time. Don’t let your partner be one of those. Whenever you think of settling for someone just think of Jay Z and Beyonce, Jada and Will Smith, Tim McGraw and Faith Hill or Steph and Ayesha Curry. I’m sure they never laughed at their partner's dreams.
