I have been very shy all my life. It's something I've had to learn to live with and also overcome. There are quite a few cons to being quiet. For example, people automatically assume you're rude or that you think very highly of yourself. You always find it hard to hold conversations with someone you've only just met. It always takes extra time to break the ice with people. These occurrences have been the bane of my existence. However, despite the difficulties accompanying shyness, there are a few upsides to having a reserved personality that I would like to point out:
1. It has kept me from negative people.
Being quiet upon first greeting makes it difficult to communicate in a group of strangers. Yet, It definitely weeds out all the not-so-nice people. I cannot count how many times someone has bluntly asked, "Why don't you talk?" or "What's your problem?" or, yet more rude, "What, so you think you're too good to talk to us or something?" But I have never continued a friendship with the people that make comments like that. If someone just assumes the worst when it comes to a quiet person, then you don't want that person in your life. Plus, those people obviously don't want to put much time in to get to know you. Instead, they'll absentmindedly insult you, thinking that's what will get you talking. Honestly though, it's an automatic turn-off. It's counterproductive and rude. And who wants that negativity? Not this girl!
2. It has kept me safe from potentially dangerous situations.
Being quiet and reserved has allowed me the ability to scope out a new place or situation before fully diving in head-first. I am able to feel out the place and internalize it before I immerse myself in something that could end up being bad news. Like going to some strange guy's house with a group of friends or some party or sketchy club that my super outgoing, carefree friends don't think twice about. By studying a situation, I am able to dictate whether or not it's something worth doing. I've been able to think things through clearly. Because I am reserved, I live in my head anyways. I think before I act. And I am not the first one to throw myself into something potentially unsafe.
3. It has kept me from opening up to the wrong people.
If you think about all the friendships you've had in your life, of course, there were some that didn't end well. Perhaps even acquaintances that never really turned into a friendship. There's a difference between someone who really cares about you and wants to listen to your problems and someone who is just curious. Due to my shy personality, I have kept private most of what happens in my life. I only open up to people who truly seek out my welfare. There are people who notice when something is up and there are people who want to know what's up. Some have your best interest at heart and others don't.
Remember that everyone has a mode of operation. Not everyone is an open book. Some people take a little longer to get to know. I mean, thank God, right? It's good that we are all different. Imagine if we were all super outgoing and talkative. We'd be talking over each other all the time. That'd be awkward. Anyways, sometimes the quiet ones have the best sense of humor. Sometimes the quietest ones have the prettiest hearts. Sometimes, we quiet people want others to dig for it. It's allowed for me to build deeper relationships.
