I've had my fair share of heartbreak from relationships that failed miserably because I wasn't able to clearly see the red flags, as I was blinded by what I considered to be 'love'. I've also been on the flip side and was the cause of some nasty heart breaks because I had issues that needed to be fixed before I could effectively partner my life with another person.
My desire is to use those lessons to help others identify the signs associated with a potential detrimental relationship. Here are three signs that will help you determine whether you need to leave or cleave.
1. They Don't Respect Your Morals And Values.
Now this may seem obvious, but keep in mind that rarely does a huge issue just jump into the light to present itself known. No, it starts with subtle things. It may begin with a discreet yet, demeaning gesture here, or a belittling joke there, but that's never where it ends. When someone really values their relationship with you, they will care about what you hold dear to your heart because they genuinely care about you.
2. They Never Take Responsibility For Their Actions.
This is equivalent to a highway-sized sign of immaturity, and if left unrefined, will cause tremendous issues in your relationship. If your significant other is running from their problems and choosing to blame others for their issues, you will never be able to move forward with a healthy relationship. It always seems most convenient to blame those closest to us for all of our problems, so that leaves you as the target of their pointed finger.
3. They Aren't Fully Invested.
Yes, I recognize that this doesn't apply to couples who have only been in a relationship with one another for a week, but if you have been together for more than a month, you should be all in, (I can hear those with commitment issues cringing after reading that last statement). Take it from someone who used to struggle with commitment, if they are always making excuses as to why they can't fully invest in your relationship, then they aren't interested in having an authentic relationship with you in the first place. They just want the title without the responsibility and that isn't worth your time, my friend.
Keep in mind that this article is not directed at those who are already married. No, this is not a reason to flake out on your vows. If you are married, focus your attention to fixing YOU, not your spouse.
Everyone has issues that needs to be dealt with, but it's when we bring those issues into a relationship with another person, that those pre existing problems heighten. Because honestly, how can you expect to live in peace with someone when you haven't even made peace with the issues inside yourself?
