If you're anything like me, the thought of having to ask for help, even for something you know you shouldn't do alone, is nothing short of petrifying. Whether it's because you think of yourself as an independent and completely capable person, or perhaps just someone who would rather crawl in a hole than even acknowledge or confront a problem in the first place (guilty, as charged), asking for help is simply not an option.

For me, it's also a sort of paradox. I would rather try to function independently than ask for help with anything, but I also feel most valued when others seek me out for help with their problems. As a friend, an RA, a sister, or a general member of the community, there is nothing more gratifying to me than when others reach out (or accept) my help. Though when it comes to a personal problem, there is nothing I would like to do less than reach out -- and I know that I'm not the only one who struggles with this.

Then there are some who have no qualms about asking for assistance -- and many of those people may be easily frustrated by people like myself who do struggle to reach out. It can be a real stressor on personal relationships, as well as academic or job performance. Here's the thing -- for those of us who struggle, it can be kind of difficult to explain to those who do not why it is that dependence on other people terrifies us. For many there are multiple reasons why this could be afflicting, but I'm here to try to explain a few.

1. The fear of seeming unintelligent or incapable.

I see this all the time in academic settings especially. Even at the collegiate level, there are many people who do not want to reach out to their Professor or get a tutor simply because they fear appearing weak or unintelligent. It could effect students who have never struggled academically before, and don't know how to handle it. It can be a threatening stigma for grades, or even social life. Sometimes, though, with a little bit of encouragement from a classmate or prof, this stigma can be combatted and gotten over.

2. The belief that we shouldn't have to ask for help.

Many independent and strong people may suffer from this belief. Many times those who are overcommitted may believe that it's a personal responsibility to do everything on their own, and to do it incredibly well. While some may be able to recognize the flaw in that logic, they still may not be able to cut back for fear of letting others down. This can become a crazy cycle of exhaustion, but for some, reaching out for assistance is the equivalent of giving up completely. People like this may need a little extra love and guidance in order to function normally.

3. Fear of being a burden.

This is a very real, very scary fear. Some may experience this in an overwhelming way; being dependent on others may feel like being the ball on the end of a long chain. These people will need extra encouragement from others in order to alleviate some of that fear -- but the scariest part is that you may not even know if someone is feeling this way.

The best you can do for someone who may not like to depend on others is to always encourage them to reach out. They may not like it at first, but at the very least they might feel a little less uncomfortable with the idea of asking for help. Coming from someone who absolutely despises asking for help, I can also say that it isn't impossible to get over the fears that come with it. All someone might need is a little push.