If one were to walk through Greek Town at Mizzou this past Thursday, they would have seen hundreds of women decked head to toe in neon, paint, and glitter, chanting at the top of their lungs. This chaos is aptly called “Chant Wars,” where each sorority tries to out chant of the others. Out of context, it seems rather silly and perhaps superficial. Some people live for Greek traditions, others are terrified; some abide by the stereotypes that float around, whereas others just plain dislike Greek life. The confusion is warranted at first glance -- what seems more frivolous than dressing up in the August heat only to be chanted at and later "speed date" a woman you want to call your sister? Many have heard the shallow stereotypes regarding sorority recruitment: “It’s nothing but a beauty contest.” “You’re paying for your friends.” “Sororities are for Lilly Pulitzer lovers.” But Greek life, especially sorority recruitment, are a lot like onions, as our lovably terrifying friend Shrek would say. They have layers. Peel back the seemingly one-dimensional tradition, the stilettos and the spray tans, and you learn sound, genuine life lessons during recruitment that can and should be applied to everyday life, with or without your letters.
Life Lesson #1: Be yourself.
Being yourself -- the raw, unedited you -- is one of the scariest thing that humans can do. Why? Because we are afraid of rejection. What if they don’t like us? What if they think I’m weird? We are afraid to be vulnerable because we are terrified that what we put out into the world will be frowned upon or shot down. Many will falsely believe that it is better to put their guard up than it is to be genuine. During recruitment, “be yourself” is a buzz phrase shared with potential new members (PNMs) to encourage genuine conversations with each house in order to find the one that their values, passions and personalities align with. This buzz phrase can be extended to day-to-day life as well. Approaching others with the intent of being honest with who we are creates genuine conversation and authentic relationships. With our guards up, we eliminate any chance we have at this. When we are authentic and unedited, we attract authenticity. So be raw. Be weird. Be sad. Be vulnerable. Be confident in whoever the real you is. Confidence isn’t about loving every aspect of yourself, it is about knowing and accepting every quirk that makes you, you.
Life Lesson #2: Don’t conform to who you think they want you to be.
This one works hand-in-hand with being authentically you. During recruitment, conforming to become the type of woman you believe a certain chapter is looking for will only place you somewhere that does not necessarily support them in the way unique to themselves. Once college is over, it can create a pattern of valuing others' opinions of you more than you value your own opinion of you, and can lead to living in a constant state of seeking external validation rather than internal. It can further the messages of stereotypes, materialism and ingenuity plastered on billboards and in magazines every day. Refusing to admit that we are upset in order to not appear as an “over-emotional woman” teaches us that having emotions is weak. Holding a red cup at a party as to not stand out teaches us that following the social norms is more important than following our own desires or beliefs. This life lesson is complemented by another buzz phrase: The right people will accept you for who you are.
Life Lesson #3: Make everyone you speak to feel important.
Women on the recruiting side of Rush are encouraged to heed this advice: Make sure every PNM feels welcomed, important, and heard. This is a valuable lesson, both in recruitment and in life. At the heart of it, all women want to know that their words matter and that what she feels passionate about is admirable. Undivided attention and listening validates others. This is the ultimate confidence booster, to know that their words are important, that who they are is important.
On a deeper level, Sorority Recruitment is more than chants, glitter or a best-dressed contest. At its core are important life lessons on how to be a genuine woman, friend, peer, coworker, and leader.
