You're sitting there at work or school and someone comes in or something happens and your irritation just shoots through the roof. If this was a cartoon your head would change to that of a bull, huffing and puffing, getting ready to charge. But as you breathe in and out a few times you realize it is a really petty thing to get irritated about. You calm yourself down, smooth your hair back in place and try to ignore the problem. Unfortunately, you are still upset and ready to tear in something like a starving lion would a baby gazelle it finally catches. Or maybe that is just me and I am petty, being set off by little things. I am not talking about real issues either like my stance on abortion, politics or war, I am talking petty things like auto flushing toilets.

One thing that sets me off instantly is heavy doors. The objective, the point, the whole existence of doors is to be opened and closed so people can get through. If the door is too heavy to open, what is the point of having a door there? Is this door guarding a castle or treasury or something (there is a difference between a vault door and a normal door). If you see me coming through a door that is heavy and I look like I am laughing or making fun of myself or a friend for struggling against a door, it is a lie. I am really seething on the inside, ready chop that door to kindling (assuming it is wood) and set a match to it. If it is glass, then a blow-torch or maybe a good old-fashioned rock would suffice.

The next thing that really irritates me is auto-water fountains. I can never get these things to give me my life-sustaining sustenance. I go up to it and bend down over the fountain to get a drink like an idiot, expecting water to come out of it or something. I must be stupid to do that, cause I mean really who would expect water to come out of a water fountain? Seriously though, where is the camera/sensor thing for this fountain at anyways? Is it in the front, is it watching my crotch then? Is there a pervert on the other end just watching people struggle to get water? I understand auto water faucets in the bathroom because some people like to see the world burn (or flood, in this case), but a water fountain only works if someone hits the button; it is highly improbable that someone would find a way to leave the fountain going just to "stick it to the man."

The third and probably most enraging is auto flushing toilets. My heart rate accelerates just thinking about this. Like holy freaking crap people, I am a big boy and can flush my own gosh darn toilet. It makes me especially mad if I am sitting taking a dump and I shift positions and the stupid toilet flushes while I am sitting there. If I was not done before that I would certainly be done after that because that just scared the crap out of me. Are toilets not being flushed such a rampant problem that society needs toilets that flush on their own? What is next, bidets coming to America and auto squirting our butts? No thanks, I prefer my butt dry thank you very much.

So now you know: things that set this guy on edge that are not really important to society. Now that you are reflecting on your own life and the stupid things that set you off, know that you are not the only person out there with petty dislikes in the world. I would be heartily surprised if you did not have any petty dislikes like this. Thanks for reading guys!