1. There is no fear like the terror of looking up to see a Texas license plate in front of you.
State rivalries aside, there's nothing wrong with people from Texas, still if it just snowed or you're headed up to the mountains, it's petrifying to be stuck behind a driver who has no idea how to drive in the terrain.
2. Your moisturizer is your best friend.
Between the altitude and distance from the coasts, the climate in Colorado can be dry. Moisturizer is a must if you’re hoping to avoid cracked skin.
3. If you’re from the metro area, you’re from Denver (even if you aren’t).
Fun Fact: The Denver Metro Area is made up of more than 80 smaller communities. If anyone who grew up in these communities is asked where they’re from they’ll answer, Denver. Regardless of whether you grew up in Arvada or Littleton (represent), if anyone asks, you’re from Denver.
4. There is no escaping the miller moth infestation.
The beginning of each summer is inaugurated with a siege of miller moths. Nobody knows where these mysterious beasts come from or where they go, all we know is that they’re everywhere around the end of May.
5. You spent your birthday at Casa Bonita.
The Mexican restaurant is so much more than just a dining establishment. It is a sacred place for natives. Yes, the food is terrible and will likely make you sick, but as Kyle Broflovski once described, Casa Bonita “is like the Disneyland of Mexican Restaurants.” It will forever be a part of your childhood.
6. People tend to automatically assume that you smoke a lot of weed.
Just because it's legal here doesn’t mean we all do it. There are plenty of reasons to be in favor of legalization, even if you don’t smoke it, such as the tax revenue, decreasing dependence on drug cartels, lowered prison expenses and the economic boom that has followed legalization. Although the majority of the population here is open minded enough to see these benefits it doesn’t mean that we all spend our evenings with a bag of Cheetos watching the Big Lebowski.
7. Seeing a transplant with a Colorado native sticker is absolutely infuriating.
You have to earn the right to put the coveted Colorado Native Sticker on your car. If you moved here past the age of 10, you do not have that right.
8. It isn’t unusual to get snowstorms in May.
You likely had to change your mother’s day plans repeatedly as a child to accommodate for unexpected snow (brunch tends to be a lot less fun when you’re stuck navigating treacherous highways to get there safely). Still these late spring flurries mean that you can hit the slopes until the beginning of June.
9. But Colorado isn’t as snowy as people tend to assume.
With approximately 250 days of sunshine, Coloradans actually see more sun than Florida, the sunshine state itself.
10. You constantly dress in layers.
Colorado weather changes faster than the speed limit on an on ramp to I-25 (see numbers 8 and 9). It isn’t unusual for six inches of snow to melt before noon. To compensate you have developed a tendency to wear layers to adjust to any unexpected weather.
11. Jake Jabs and Dealing Doug are something of celebrities to you.
You always wanted to play with one of Jake’s many tigers. Come to think of it, where did those tigers come from? Does he have his own zoo?
12. You have a friend in the diamond business.
If you listen to Colorado radio you know that no station is safe from his monotone voice.
13. Your Halloween costume usually included a coat.
Like most kids, you probably spent months planning and perfecting your Halloween costume. Yet erratic Colorado weather tends to interfere, meaning that you probably ended up looking more like an Antarctic explorer than a Hogwarts student, genie or pirate.
14. You shop local.
Colorado offers a wide range of fantastic local breweries, coffee shops, boutiques, and restaurants. Ignoring these fantastic businesses to shop at chains and big box stores seems downright sacrilegious.
15. There is no better pizza than Beau Jo’s.
You also put honey on your crusts and think nothing of it. It’s always a bit of a culture shock when pizzerias outside of the state don’t have honey.
16. Your directions usually involve the phrases, towards the mountains and away from the mountains.
With such noticeable landmarks, who needs a compass?
17. Pot Holes.
No, not that kind of pothole. With all of the crazy weather, Colorado roads get worn out ridiculously quickly. Come spring time you can encounter the full western experience by seeing what it must have felt like to cross the dirt terrain on horse, in the comfort of your own car, as you drift up and down over the many potholes.
18. Once a year the entire state bursts into flames.
Who could expect the beautiful state to erupt into a series of scorched forests from June through August?
19. Hiking and camping on the weekends are part of your normal routine.
As the fittest state in the nation, exercise becomes part of your daily activities. Why spend the weekend on the couch when you could be out having adventures?
20. You probably grew up skiing or snowboarding.
Mountain sports tend to be an important aspect of Colorado’s culture. Most natives get started young. I know I started when I was three years old. Even if you don’t get started at that age, the fifth and sixth-grade ski passports ensure that you’re hooked before starting high school.
21. You never leave the house without your Nalgene bottle.
Colorado’s dry climate strikes again. You’ve probably become accustomed to constantly sipping water to combat dehydration.
22. Even you don’t understand Denver’s art.
Between the murderous blue demon horse that guards DIA, affectionately known as Blucifer, the yellow tower off I-25, the blue bear, the bloody, vaguely phallic, organ sculpture in Lodo and the dancing aliens outside the DCPA, Denver has a lot of strange pieces of art. Even the natives don’t get it, but it’s part of what makes home home.
23. You never need a filter in photos.
One of the rare benefits of Colorado’s dry climate is the blue sky. With less water vapor in the air, our skies are bluer. Paired with the picturesque landscape and the dramatic mountains, your Instagram is littered with exquisite photos that rarely need a filter.
24. Your favorite ice cream establishment probably has a line in the middle of January.
It takes more than a little cold to dissuade Coloradoans from enjoying this delectable dessert. Whether you’re a Bonnie Braer person or a Littleman fan, all Coloradoans seem to agree that ice cream tastes just as delicious in -5ºF degrees as it does on a balmy day in July.
25. Still, eating nutritiously is extremely important to you.
Fitness is undeniably important in Colorado, and we have the obesity rates to prove it. Chances are if you grew up here you eat a lot of healthy grains and produce, like quinoa and avocado. With the amount of locally grown produce, you probably eat a lot of fruit and vegetables too.
26. March 3rd is kind of a big deal.
Name one other state with a day dedicated to supporting local culture, businesses and musicians. Named for Denver’s iconic area code, March 3rd brings with it a celebration of all things Coloradoan. The day is so ingrained in local culture it’s celebrated in schools.
27. Your pets are like part of the family.
People around the country may claim that their pets are like their children, but in Colorado it's true. Our pets are our best friends. They join us on hikes, car rides, walks and even while shopping. I will never forget the surprise I encountered after being told I could not bring my lab into malls outside of Colorado.
28. You wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.
According to the 2010 census, 42% of the Denver population was born in the state, meaning that natives have a tendency of staying put. Honestly, with a place as beautiful as Colorado, who would want to live anywhere else?
