The 25 Worst New Year's Resolutions As Told By Spongebob
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The 25 Worst New Year's Resolutions As Told By Spongebob

Do not attempt these resolutions! Spongebob said so!

Ryne Carman
Dec 19, 2016
University of Tulsa
125
The 25 Worst New Year's Resolutions As Told By Spongebob
Boing Boing

It's the same old story at the beginning of every year: making a New Year's resolution. How many times have we come up with a resolution only to see it free falling and crashing into smithereens before our very eyes? Trust me, I know from experience! The usual resolutions include losing weight, changing one's diet, and pretty much everything else that relates to getting healthier. But how ridiculous is too ridiculous for a resolution? Here's 25 of them as told by the Spongebob universe:

1. Build a three story wooden shed

2. Confess your love to your crush in the most awkward way possible

3. Invite people you have never met before to your house in order to challenge your already awkward social skills

4. Tell a morbid and dark story that does not have a happy ending to your best friend

5. Face your fears by going skydiving, rocky mountain climbing, going 2.7 seconds...you know the rest. Live like you were dying!

6. Actually not procrastinate and finish that midterm paper early (let's face it, it won't happen)

7. Read the Twilight series

8. Cope with Donald Trump as our president

9. Create a new ideology

10. Go ten minutes saying nothing but nonsense words

11. Write and record your own song

12. Talk to inanimate objects every once in a while

13. Scare the living daylights out of someone who is none the wiser

14. Be a recluse for a month

15. Use a false name for a week and forget you're using a false name by day three

16. Yell the word "evil" at the most random times

17. Become friends with the dorkiest people known to mankind

18. Take a vow to never do that awful thing again...you know...that thing...you've done. Nevermind. Take it, Mrs. Puff!

19. Completely murder someone's hopes and dreams

20. Hurl the nastiest insult you can think of to the person you absolutely cannot stand

21. Say who you really are as a person the next time you introduce yourself

22. Every time you're in pain, yell "My leg!"

23. Fake a deep level of intelligence in front of your friends

24. Get promoted from Officer to Inspector Obvious

25. Finally, always be ready for anything and everything

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