Being a girl is hard. We do things that we ourselves cannot even explain. We are a complex species that partakes in activities that seem to bewilder people of the opposite gender. Here is a list of 25 things girls do that guys will never experience and, thus, will never understand:
1. Painting Nails
My left hand will forever look better than my right hand, and that is just something I will have to live with…
2. Breaking A Hair Tie
This always seems to happen on the worst of hair days. I think God breaks them to entertain himself with the emotional breakdown that ensues.
3. Applying Eyeliner
The left eye is too thick. Then the right eye is too thick. You attempt to fix this issue until you just look like your night will consist of rummaging through people’s trashcans. Then you start over.
4. Getting Excited Over Shaving Our Legs
“Feel my legs. They feel like a dolphin!”
5. Pinterest
I cannot even begin to tell you how many hours of my life I have spent “pinning” clothes I will never buy and recipes I will never cook. My wedding is planned, however, which is great considering I have no fiancé, no boyfriend, and no prospects.
6. Using Tampons
You always have one until you actually need one. And no, you cannot just use any kind, especially not the cardboard kind. Satan invented the cardboard kind.
7. Waxing
Snakes and lizards scare the crap out of me, but you can pour hot wax on me and rip it off me with a cloth. That’s fine.
8. Wearing Thongs
I want to meet the person who decided that girls should wear a rope between our cheeks.
9. Posting a Perfect Instagram
You must choose the filter that makes you look tan but doesn’t light up your facial features like a Pokemon character, and, obviously, the caption has to be cute.
10. Tanning
One must know the difference between looking tan and looking like you rolled around in a pool of Nacho Cheese Doritos powder.
11. Denying Compliments
We know we look fab. We just gotta deny it so A) we don’t seem cocky and B) we receive more compliments to reinforce how fab we look.
12. Wearing Makeup
*Girl wears makeup*
Guy: “Why do you wear makeup all the time? I like natural girls.”
*Girl doesn’t wear makeup*
Guy: “Are you okay? You look sick.”
13. Getting Ready
The time before going out is SACRED. The thought of not having enough of this sacred time gives me anxiety and makes me want to have a full-fledged panic attack.
14. Dealing With Boobs
Guys will never experience the utter horror of side boob, or worse, a nip slip.
15. Creeping On Social Media
I should join the freaking FBI based on how much information I can dig up on people. Really, it’s scary. But it’s awesome because after guys are jerks to us girls, we can go back and laugh at those ugly, prepubescent photos they thought we’d never see.
16. Peeing With Friends
Hermoine Granger went to the bathroom alone. Hermoine Granger was attacked by a troll.
17. Saying We Want A Nice Guy But Only Hooking Up With Jerks
In the wise words of my girl, T-Swift: "You know I love the players, and you love the game."
18. PMS
Get me ice cream or GTFO.
19. Wearing A Sticky Bra
You better not plan on doing anything that could cause you to sweat because if you do, you are absolutely done for. And let’s just be honest, there’s no sexy way to take off a sticky bra.
20. Obsessively Watching Rom-Coms
Because if I watch the female lead get serenaded, receive love letters, and have pebbles thrown at her window by the 10/10 guy, by the transitive property, all of that is happening to me, right? Right.
21. Stealing Shack Shirts
Do you want to walk back to your room at eight in the morning wearing wedges and a crop top? Yeah, neither do I.
22. Wearing Heels
If they ain’t hurting, they ain’t helping.
23. Screaming When Encountering Other Girls
Because how is your friend going to know that you missed her and are excited to see her unless you scream in her face? Duh.
24. Peeing In A Romper
Nothing is more pleasant than getting butt-ass naked in a cramped bathroom stall.
25. Wearing Leggings As Pants
Sorry, I left how much I care about guys’ opinions on this topic in the back pocket of the pair of jeans I’m not wearing.
