You know what it is. You love it. Your friends tell you you're crazy. Your best friends go with you. Your mom tells you to stop wasting your money. But you just keep coming back...
It's Chipotle.
Chipotle Mexican Grill and it is by far the best. It's food with integrity! At least that's what they say, but all I know is, it's the best thing I've ever tasted. Here are the twenty-seven indicators that I may have a problem.
- You frequent the Chipotle establishment multiple times a week.
- Like two...or three…or maybe four times.
- Basically, the workers can make your order as soon as you walk in the door.
- Sometimes you genuinely think your patronage keeps them in business.
- When people say they “don’t like Chipotle,” you understand that they must have never had it before because no one could really dislike Chipotle.
- But seriously, “[Not Chipotle] is better than Chipotle” hurts my feelings. Bless your soul, I hope you have a change of heart.
- If you are overheard talking about your “bae,” it is obviously Chipotle.
- Or should I say, Chipotbae.
- Saving your money does not mean you stop eating out. Your happiness is priceless, and Chipotle is worth your hard earned cash. After all, you have to eat somewhere, why not Chipotle?
- You study "How to get a larger burrito" articles like they are your textbooks.
- The workers are kind of like an extra little family. You love them, they love you, and there is no judgement on the frequency with which you visit Chipotle.
- "It's not real Mexican" is so offensive to you. Obviously it's fancy fast food Mexican, they just don't understand!
- When your friends ask where the crew should go to eat, you automatically suggest Chipotle.
- But they already knew you were going to say that anyway.
- You treat your to-go Chipotle like a precious newborn baby on the way home.
- Christmas, Birthdays, and every other gift giving holiday means ALL the Chipotle gift cards.
- You secretly want to cater Chipotle for your wedding.
- And if any event has Chipotle catering, you are the first person there.
- And you come back for seconds.
- And thirds. (speaking from personal experience, I have done this, AND I took home leftovers, it's a free country)
- In your opinion, there is only one perk to being famous. Not the fans or the wealth, it's the possibility of opening your mail one day and finding a Chipotle Celebrity Card.
- Just the thought of being blessed with a Celebrity Card (one free burrito, every day, for the rest of your life) makes your heart ache and mouth water.
- You love or hate where you live based on its proximity to the nearest Chipotle.
- This child is your spirit animal. "Chipotle is mah life too!"
- What even is Chi-pole-tea? Chi-pole-tay? It’s Chi-polt-lay, peasants.
- You know guac is extra, obviously, this isn’t your first rodeo, but you don’t rudely interrupt the workers and show off your knowledge. You nod politely because they are handling your precious burrito and you want to stay on good terms.
- The news that they were going entirely GMO-free made you jump up and down. Or maybe that was just me, but it was good news.
Bowl, extra brown rice, steak, cheese, side of mild salsa, chips, and a water, please.
