Throughout the day on November 8, Americans will finally flock to the polls to elect the next President. No matter who is elected, I think I can speak for many voters when I say that I'm just ready for the election to be over! In fact, I'm so tired of the 2016 Presidential election, I was able to write out 25 reasons why I'm excited for it to be finished. Luckily, I've already voted.
1. Life will return to a semi-normal state of existence for at least two and a half months.
2. I can start dreading January 20, 2017, when the new President will officially get the job.
3. Everyone will finally shut up about the elections. Thank goodness.
4. I can wear my "I Voted" sticker proudly...while I cry inwardly about the choice I had to make.
5. My regularly scheduled programming will return, uninterrupted by election-related broadcasts telling me of Trump's latest accuser or Hillary's latest scandal--how has she managed to avoid punishment for this long, anyway?
6. Campaign ads will disappear. I can watch my Kansas City Chiefs play without having Trump or Clinton interrupt every time-out.
7. Yards across America will be released from the burden and shame of advertising a candidate.
8. I'll be able to breathe again. So will the rest of the country.
9. I'll have an excuse for a good cry. Again, so will the rest of the country.
10. I will be able to relax.
11. Oh wait, no I won't. Not when the winner is either Trump or Hillary.
12. Saturday Night Live will be forced to come up with new material for skits. The writers will have to be creative again, instead of just using the entertainment fodder provided by the Presidential debates.
13. My Facebook feed will return to its usual state of mindlessness; instead of (typically) uninformed, vicious debates, it will be filled with distractions and pleas for aid in fulfilling time-sucking virtual quests.
14. I will be able to comfort myself with the fact that there will never again be a Presidential election with such poor choices--until I see the new crop of candidates in four years.
15. I will be able to sleep without Trump and Hillary appearing in my nightmares--no longer will I jerk awake in a cold sweat with Hillary's voice grating in my ears or Trump's bulldog-like face floating across my eyelids. Instead, I'll only have nightmares about the one that wins.
16. People will finally come to their senses and what has nearly become America's second Civil War will end; this time, brother is pitted against brother due to who's voting for who. No longer will friends threaten to end friendships over ballots (unless they find out who their friend voted for, of course).
17. I can enjoy friendly conversation at the dinner table without having to avoid the minefield of election-related conversation. I have discovered that my fellow diners can become rather explosive if the wrong candidate is mentioned or if the right campaign issue is brought to light.
18. I can begin stockpiling nonperishable food items while building an underground bunker in my backyard. After all, if I just hide underground for four years, I don't have to watch the havoc the new President will unleash upon the country, right?
19. I can stop popping so many Tums...at least until the new President has access to the nuclear codes.
20. I can start thinking about my move to Greenland--it might be better than the backyard bunker. I hear it's a nice freezing little place to live, unaffected by the United States' crazy new President (because Clinton and Trump are both somewhat nuts).
21. I won't have to watch two grown adults whine, pout, fight, and call each other names as though they were kindergarteners on live TV anymore. Those Presidential debates tended to resemble a civilized version of a Coliseum fight after the first thirty minutes.
22. I might finally know what's going on in the rest of the world. North Korea could have nuked South Korea last month--but I wouldn't know that because Trump and Clinton have taken over the news media coverage.
23. I won't have to see Trump or Clinton every time I open my Safari browser. Or a newspaper. Or the TV.
24. There won't be any more crazy candidate conspiracy theories to debunk--no, Trump is not an alien and Hilary is not a robot (although sometimes I wonder...). The far left and the far right got a tad too imaginative for their own good.
25. I'm not with her, and I'm not sure how Trump defines "great", but either way, at least America will finally get a change--farewell at last, President Obama.
