When I chose to attend Marquette University, I had a lot of questions regarding class sizes, program offerings, student population, credit requirements, and extracurricular activities. Now that I've finished my first semester, it's time for me to tackle the real questions: the ones that keep my peers and me up at night.
1. What does "ring out ahoya" even mean?
2. Does anyone even know what it means?
3. Is it pronounced "Jeh-zoo-it" or "Jeh-shoo-it"?
4. Why must the church bells go off so often, thus waking me from my naps?
5. Why does everything in the Spirit Shop have to be so cute yet so expensive?
6. When will Qdoba start accepting meal swipes?
7. Are the hot cookies actually safe to eat?
8. Why is everyone from a suburb of Chicago?
9. Why don't the LIMOs operate 24/7 during the winter?
10. Our colors are blue and gold, so why does the gold always look like yellow?
11. Why can't Marquette Place stay open on weekends?
12. Could I promise to donate my body to the cadaver lab once I die in exchange for a full ride?
13. Who is the mysterious voice that comes over the loud speaker at 11 p.m. in Raynor?
14. Where can I sign up to be the mysterious voice that comes over the loud speaker at 11 p.m. in Raynor?
15. Can I have the recipe for the Brew muffins?
16. Should I feel judged for ordering Jimmy John's when it's right down the road?
17. How has McCormick not collapsed yet?
18. Why is the dining hall "ice cream" such a sad excuse for ice cream?
19. And why is there not a quality ice cream place within walking distance?
20. Why was my lecture in Marquette Hall 300 actually on, like, the 7th floor?
21. Can there be an underground tunnel from Straz to the rest of campus so I don't have to cross those scarily busy streets just to get some fresh greens and stir fry?
22. Does MUPD not realize everyone is jaywalking all the time, or do they just not care?
23. If I get hit while jaywalking does that mean I won't get any money?
24. Where can I buy a backpack like all the athletes have so people think I'm an athlete?
25. Only 50 dining dollars? Really?
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