Ah, fall. Where apple cider donuts, pumpkin spice lattes, and crunchy orange leaves resurface for a few months. For some, the first thing that comes to mind might be chillier weather and bonfires. However, for most, the very first thought is obvious...Halloween. Halloween is debatably one of the best holidays there is. Free candy, carving pumpkins, apple picking, and most importantly, haunted houses.
There's something about a stranger in a horrifying costume jumping out of pitch-black corners that always gets a real horror buff to smile. I can definitely attest to being in my room in August and getting chills when already picking out all of the haunted houses I want to step foot in come the following months.
This being said, here is a list of 24 things you might say while going through a haunted attraction:
1. "*Insert Curse of Choice Here*"
Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
2. "I'm going to pee my pants!"
There were bathrooms in the front entrance, come on!
3. *Sobbing*
Toughen up, don't let them see you scared!
4. "What is THAT?!"
I don't know either, but I'm not going to stand here to find out.
5. "You go first!"
Why can't we just lock arms like they did in The Wizard of Oz?
6. *Screaming*
Maybe if we yell loud enough, we can pop their eardrums?
7. "My eyes are closed."
That'll work until you bump into one of them.
8. "I will punch whoever comes at me."
That's one way to get kicked out, I guess!
9. "Why are they all coming toward me?"
I bet they sense your fear.
10. "You're all fake, anyway!"
We're all stuck in this group together. I wouldn't provoke them.
11. "Come at me!"
Really, you should not do that.
12. "RUN!"
Well... at least they aren't following me anymore.
13. "Something is going to pop out of there."
14. "I'm scared!"
Aren't we all?
15. "Somebody kill me!"
I'm sure they considered it.
16. "I'm too scared to move!"
Let's see how that works out for ya.
17. "Is this done yet?"
Sadly, no.
18. "Are they allowed to touch you here?"
Don't move slow enough to find out.
19. "Leave me alone!"
Why did you come here, again?
20. "This is worse than I thought."
I was thinking the same thing.
21. "I want to go home!"
Meeeeee too.
22. "They look so real!"
Are they? We might never know...
23. "I'm sweating."
Please keep your bodily fluids to yourself.
24. "I'm never going to one of these again."
Yes, that's exactly why I can see you ordering a ticket for the next one.
Take this list, and repeat every Friday/Saturday night in September and October.
