As my social media swells with baby news, engagements and wedding pictures, I'm beginning to realize what I have yet to fulfill in my life. I didn't marry my first college boyfriend and start my life as someone's wife right after graduation. Instead, I chose to continue on to graduate school. While sometimes I am blinded by the mini-reality that has become my life, I often have to remind myself that I don't have it all together, and that's okay.
Right before my birthday a few weeks ago, I was in my first car accident. Going to school out of state has its advantages, except for when a major event or emergency happens. As I sat in the emergency room waiting on X-rays and results, I cried like a 5-year-old who couldn't find their mother at the supermarket. I was alone, and I had to handle this on my own. Thankfully, I had family who offered to drive up, against my pleas that they stay home and not worry themselves with a long drive. But, honestly, I was beyond grateful. I don't have the world experience that they do.
Growing up, I always believed myself to be self-sufficient. My family was pleased that they never had to hear about a speeding ticket, a failing grade or a drinking citation while I was in college. I began working whenever I wasn't in school and took over paying for all of my bills by my sophomore year of college. I felt like the "big girl" on campus. While my efforts weren't entirely in vain, it took my first major disaster to truly realize how much I still needed other's help, especially from my family. Here I am, 23, about to graduate with my Master's, and I am still calling my parents crying about an accident and having to find a new means of transportation.
The days following the accident proved to be the most stressful. Not only had I begun my graduate summer course, but I was working as well. I needed a reliable means of transportation. Unfortunately, that meant car shopping. First, I know nothing about cars. Second, car salesmen always make me uncomfortable. Even the honest ones make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Thankfully, my grandfather offered to go with me and help me find a suitable vehicle. The only caveat? I would be solely responsible for getting my ducks in a row to purchase the car. Insurance, car dealerships, warranties, oh my!
Since my accident I have limited my social media presence. All the posts lack an authenticity that I am in desperate need of. I can't be the only one going through this, right? While everyone filters their life through Facebook or Instagram, more often than not, they are struggling to navigate life much like you are. It's not all a bed of roses; sometimes you will find a thorn.