Today I turn 22.
Now, what does one exactly do when they turn 22? I mean, it’s not a “big deal birthday.” When you think about it, turning 10 is a big deal because you are officially in double digits like the rest of the world. 16 is a huge deal because you hopefully get your license and earn a little bit more freedom and independence from your parents. To be honest, 18 is kind of scary because you are officially an adult and your parents aren’t forced to take care of you anymore. And 21? I mean you’re turning 21; it’s one of the biggest birthdays of all!
But 22…? A number between 20 and 30, 22 really isn’t all that special; you don’t get any real perks when you turn 22. So this got me thinking: What exactly do people do when they turn 22?
Here is a list of 22 things you should start doing at 22 because, let’s be real, you are getting older.
1. Start ordering decaf coffee: Come on, you are no spring chicken anymore! You don’t want that caffeine keeping you up all night or wreaking havoc on your bladder.
2. Start going to bed at a reasonable hour. 1 a.m. is no longer going to cut it.
3. Add some more flax seeds to your meals to help get more fiber into your diet.
4. Have you thought about your cholesterol lately? You may want to consider seeing your general practitioner to make sure you don’t need to go on heart medication stat.
5. Invest in safe-listening headphones. You think your hearing is awful now, but think about what it’s going to be in 60 years! Buy some headphones to help protect your fragile hearing.
6. Consider purchasing life insurance.
7. Ever heard of Life-Alert? You know the television commercial, “Help! I’ve fallen and I cannot get up!” Well, this could be you since your body is becoming frailer with age. Get it.
8. Start listening to some smooth jazz -- all old people do this, right? Join the club.
9. Increase the size of the text on your phone. Trust me, your eyes will thank you.
10. Do you need dentures yet? Check that out.
11. Also check out your hearing; maybe it’s time for some hearing aids.
12. Buy some comfortable orthopedic sneakers with Velcro straps--who has time for shoelaces at your ripe old age?
13. Instead of running every week, get into water aerobics. It’s a great way to stay in shape all while protecting your joints. Think of all the cute guys in Speedos too.
14. Did you have a prune yet today? Go eat one.
15. Buy a magnifying glass. You never know when they’ll come in handy.
16. Consider installing a ramp in your home instead of having a difficult time getting up those stairs.
17. Instead of looking to buy a new car, what about buying a motorized scooter? You never know.
18. Get a cane. Even if you don’t need it, you’ll look like an OG.
19. Buy a lot of little hard candies to put in bowls around your house.
20. Start buying magazine subscriptions for your family’s birthday gifts.
21. Learn to play cribbage.
22. Start collecting rare coins; they could come in handy one day!
