21 years, 21 lessons
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Politics and Activism

21 years, 21 lessons

Ultimately, I've learned that there's always more to learn.

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21 years, 21 lessons
Asamia Diaby

I turned 21 on January 11 and I am super excited about this brave new world journey I am about to embark on. I feel like I will actually be considered an adult now and most importantly I no longer have to sneak into clubs. Even though not much has changed since I turned 21 — I'm still broke, still live at home, still lose my headphones — I feel that it is time for some reflection.

I have learned so much so far in my very short life and I am absolutely certain the lessons I will learn in the future will be ones I never even imagined. However, I have learned a few things that I would love to share with you all so, hopefully, you can learn from my mistakes.

1. Being around the wrong people can make you feel like you're wrong. Sometimes you don't need to change yourself, sometimes you need to change your friends.

2. Having a boyfriend is cool, but you should never have to compromise the relationships you have with others just to maintain your romantic one.

3. Good music, a bath and no disturbances are the major keys to long days.

4. Your intuition doesn't lie. However, your fears can manifest as a "sign" when they really aren't. Learn to distinguish between intuition and fear- intuition protects you, fear keeps you stagnant.

5. Your mother can only love you the best she can and sometimes the best she can is dictated by what society has taught her is lovable.

6. When fathers aren't allowed to have feelings and be sensitive they hurt others. Sometimes they aren't even aware of it.

7. Everything that happens to you may not be your fault, but it is your responsibility.

8. Feminism [womanism] is not the hate of man - it is the love of man and the love of woman and the love of all people beyond the toxic socialization that has separated and destroyed our greatness.

9. You can learn how to do anything from youtube.

10. You cannot push everyone away and then wonder why you suffer alone.

11. When you are unapologetically yourself and do not let anyone dictate your identity you will not only be amazingly happy, you will find the people who are happy with you.

12. Beautification is popping, but always make sure you take care of yourself under all the glitz and glam.

13. Europeans literally destroyed the world and we have allowed it to happen.

14. Things don't go as planned and that's ok.

15. Your worth is not determined in reference to how many people want to fuck you.

16. Most of our health problems can be cured naturally. If we take care of ourselves from the very beginning then we'll be ok in the end.

17. It's okay to cut ties and to make drastic change even without a plan b when said thing has caused you nothing but grief and pain.

18. We cannot allow ourselves to be desensitized to the suffering of people. We need to care for each other, this Earth and all of its inhabitants.

19. Hindsight bias is a motherfucker. Things were not as a good as you like to think they were. If they were good, you would've never left.

20. Don't be afraid to ask for help and if you are afraid to ask for help - you might be surrounded by the wrong people.

21. Things do get better, sometimes.

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