College students who don’t drink coffee are few and far between. People are usually shocked when I tell them I have never had coffee, but it was a point of pride for me. Last week, I finally caved and had my first cup. Wow, have I been missing out the last twenty years. Here’s a few things that happen when you officially become a coffee-drinker:
- You finally understand what all the hype is about.
- A whole new world opens up to you in the morning now that you’re not groggy.
- You feel jumpy or shaky, but you kind of like it.
- You freak out when your heart races.
- You’re as high on all the sugar you put in as the caffeine itself.
- You have to go to the bathroom more often.
- You don’t fall asleep in class anymore.
- You feel really cool when you get your order down...
- And when you’re walking around with a coffee cup like you know what’s up.
- You wonder what’s happened to all your money.
- You like asking people to “get coffee” now that you can actually partake.
- Trying different kinds of coffee is your new favorite thing.
- You try to add less sugar and milk each day…
- But then you get it too black and it’s nasty.
- The first time you have two cups in one day you go crazy.
- Now you understand people who complain about bad coffee.
- You figure out the latest time you can have coffee without it keeping you up at night.
- You set aside extra time in your schedule to get coffee.
- You mourn the loss of all those Starbucks gift cards you gave away before you converted.
- You worry you will become too attached to coffee…
- But then you keep drinking it anyway.
