During my 21 years of life, I have completely transformed as a person - physically, mentally and spiritually. These 21 lessons I have learned before turning 21 happened in the best of times and the worst of times. Life has given me some home runs, which has forced me to learn how to be humble and recognize how hard work can go an extremely long way. However, life has thrown me curve balls, left and right, which has forced me to learn how to handle tough situations. Without the rough patches, obstacles and hardships, I would have never been able to acknowledge my own inner strength as a person. I do not have a doubt in my mind that there will be more life lessons to be learned, but here are the 21 lessons I learned before turning 21.
1. Life is not fair.
It is just when you think things in your life are going smoothly, something occurs that you least expected. This can range from getting a bad grade on a test after studying for weeks to someone passing away whom you are close to. In these situations, we often question "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why do bad things happen to good people?" We simply cannot understand the way life works and why certain things happen. As long you give 110 percent to everything you do in life, you have to let everything else fall into place. Life works in weird, mysterious ways.
2. Everything happens for a reason.
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Every present moment in your life is closely linked to what is bound to happen in your future. You may not understand why things happen, but sometimes you have to come to terms with the way things are. You have to accept what is and let go of what could have been.
3. It's okay to let go.
This is something that is never easy to do in any simple or complex situation. Sometimes, things are simply out of your control and you cannot do anything to change the circumstances. Letting go of negativity in your life is a major factor in finding happiness with others and more importantly, yourself. In the words of Elsa from Frozen, "Let it go!" (literally).
4. Put yourself first.
It can be extremely exhausting to be constantly putting people first instead of yourself. How will you ever stand up for yourself? How will you ever know what truly makes you happy? Take the time out to appreciate what will make you happy. It is okay to be a little selfish sometimes.
5. You cannot please everyone.
This is a tough statement to accept, especially for those of you who are perfectionists like myself. The only person you can truly please is the person that is staring back at you in the mirror. Not everyone is going to agree with you on your interests, needs or opinions. At the end of the day, what really matters is how you feel about yourself and what is going to bring you the most happiness.
6. You cannot care about what people think.
Let's face it, people are going to talk about you whether you like it or not. Everyone is going to have a different opinion and perception on the way you do things. The more you care about what people think, the more you will become mentally drained from constantly thinking of what you can do better for people that potentially do not matter.
7. Accept your flaws.
Every single person on the face of this Earth has flaws. Even the most "perfect" person you can think of has flaws. There is no such thing as perfection. Perfection is only defined on a subjective level and not an objective level. Thus, this state of being can never be truly reached. It is okay to have flaws because they build your inner strength; they are a part of the person you are.
8. Don't think; just do.
If you are constantly badgering yourself of what you are doing, what you could have done better and what you shouldn't have done, this will only drive you crazy. Whether you are taking a test or playing a sport, you can't overanalyze the skills you already possess. As a student, you know how to read, write and study. As an athlete, you know how to run, play and strategize. So why question it? Just do what you know how to do. This will only enhance your ability and add fluidity to your strategic skill set.
9. No one has to be your other half at 21.
There is no requirement to find love at the age of 21. No one said you have to be married at the age of 25, and then have two kids at the age of 27. You have to be strong on your own first before relying on someone else for your own strength. The only requirement is to find love within yourself. You must love yourself first and foremost before you love someone else. Everyone is meant for somebody and that somebody will come around. Be patient.
10. Don't take your family for granted.
My family is everything to me. They are the foundation of my being as a person and my support system. It is so important to take in every moment with the people you love. At the end of the day, they will always be there for you, even when your friends/boyfriend/girlfriend aren't. You never know what can happen, so appreciate the time you have with the people you love the most.
11. Friends can make you or break you.
Friends come and go, but we always hope that they stay. We all have experienced bad friends and good ones. We just have to make sure to be aware of those negative relationships and get rid of them because they will only drag you down. Fortunately, I found a great group of people who have done nothing but support me and keep me laughing 24/7. Good friends aren't the ones you have known the longest. Good friends are the ones who said, "I'm here for you," and proved it.
12. Be yourself.
Why act like someone you're not? The best version of yourself is the most original, authentic person you can be. You don't have to live up to anyone's standards, just the standards you set for yourself.
13. It's okay to change your plan.
The path that you thought you were taking to get your anticipated destination may get altered from sudden shifts and changes in life. You may even change your mind about the path you originally planned for, and it's not the end of the world. The journey is the destination.
14. Form your own opinion.
It's okay to voice your own opinion. It's also okay to say no to things you don't want to do. Don't do something just because everyone else is doing it. Do something that will make you happy.
15. Everyone has their own story.
Just when you think you have your own problems and feel alone, you are wrong. You are not alone. Everyone has their own issues. Everyone goes through rough patches in life. A person's character is shaped by what they have been through and what they are going through. Just like you, everyone has their own story.
16. Take care of yourself.
Your health is an important factor in your life...it keeps you alive! Eat right, exercise and live a little. It's okay to splurge and treat yourself once in a while, you'll live. You don't have to just run or lift weights. You can do yoga, dance or kick a soccer ball around with your friends, even if you're not an all-star soccer player. Lastly, laugh often; it's a good stress reliever and an ab enhancer. More importantly, mental health is also essential to your overall health. If you are stressed out, have a lot of anxiety or are going through a difficult time, talking to someone will only benefit you.
17. Being in a toxic relationship isn't worth it.
A balanced relationship involves two people who equally appreciate and love one another. However, not all relationships are fairytales. Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't appreciate you the way you appreciate them. You'll know when you're in a good relationship when you don't have to constantly question yourself or your significant other. The right person will come along.
18. Yet, being single isn't all the bad.
Being single is not a terrible thing, and it honestly may even be better. You can find out what you truly like and dislike. You may even find out new things about yourself, without relying on someone else.
19. Go beyond your own expectations.
Don't undermine your own ability to be better. There is always room to improve the person you are as well as the work that you do. You should always try being a better version of yourself every single day.
20. Hard work definitely pays off.
If you put in 110 percent effort into the things you do, you are almost 100 percent guaranteed that good things are bound to transpire. If you are determined enough to reach your goal in mind, you will put your heart and soul into whatever it takes to reach it. Hard work may come with some obstacles and struggles, but without struggle there is no progress.
21. Life goes on.
On some days, life will seem like it's going in slow motion but without even noticing, it will pass by quicker than you think. Things happen and people change, but life goes on. Appreciate every moment of the life we're given with the people you love. In the words of One Tree Hill, "One day you're planning for someday and then quietly, without you even really noticing, someday is today and that someday is yesterday and this is your life."
