In May, I celebrated my 20th birthday. With two decades and countless mistakes now under my belt, I can’t help but feel wise beyond my years. Here is a list of the 20 most important lessons I’ve learned in my 20 long years of life. Warning: this could get corny.
1. Forgive.
Forgiveness is essential to happiness and grudges are a waste of energy and time. Forgive those who have hurt you and move on. You will feel so much lighter and unburdened.
2. Love yourself.
And always forgive yourself. Too often, I punished myself relentlessly for the mistakes I made. If you want to grow into a better person, you have to forgive yourself and learn to love your flaws.
3. Be kind whenever necessary.
And it is almost always necessary to be kind. You will never regret speaking kind words but you will always regret the words you spoke out of anger.
4. Spend time with your family, especially your parents.
Being away from my family while at school only made me appreciate them that much more.
5. Surround yourself with good people.
I mean the kind that bring out the best in you, inspire you, motivate you, and love you unconditionally. They’re the kind of companions that last a lifetime.
6. Learn how to let go of all things unmeant for you, and let go of them gently.
Let go of sour relationships, let go of your failures, and do not dwell on your losses. Grow from them.
7. Never take yourself too seriously.
It’s okay to make mistakes and laugh through the embarrassment.
8. If you often find yourself wondering, “what if,” then pursue whatever it is you’re wondering about.
There is nothing worse than regretting an unexplored route. It’s better to know that you tried your best than knowing you didn’t try at all.
9. Don’t focus so much on your appearance that you neglect your inner self.
Too often we feed into our vanity. Instead, develop your character. Be as good of a person on the inside as you look on the outside.
10. Never let anyone make you feel like you don’t deserve to be happy.
Don’t let anyone manipulate or control you into thinking negatively about yourself. The way they make you feel is a reflection of them, not you.
11. Listen to music.
When you’re sad, when you’re happy, when you’re angry. Go to live shows and music festivals. Music soothes the soul like no other.
12. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Seriously, right now. Who cares if someone has a higher paying job than you? Who cares if someone is prettier or skinnier than you? Comparing yourself to others is one of the worst things you can do. Focus on being a better version of yourself instead of being better than the person next to you.
13. Step out of your comfort zone often.
Leave the house when you don’t want to, try weird foods. New experiences are so rewarding.
14. Never make a life decision based on someone else’s expectations or desires.
It is your life. Don’t force yourself into a situation to make someone else happy. It’s okay to be selfish.
15. Stop looking for the perfect person.
First of all, you will never find a perfect person. Second, focus instead on being you and loving every part of you independently. The right person will find you when you least expect it.
16. Always apologize, even if it hurts your pride.
Few things are worse than someone who is too proud to admit when they’re wrong.
17. Don’t punish yourself for feeding your cravings.
Be healthy, but treat yourself every now and then. And don’t feel guilty about it.
18. Always make time for your hobbies and passions.
If you don’t make time now, you never will. You can never be too busy for something that you love.
19. Never, ever, ever settle.
You deserve the best. If something isn't make you happy, move on and find something better.
20. Accept people as they are and never try to change them.
If someone is unwilling to change on their own, you can’t force a change out of them. Either accept them and love them anyway, or move on.
