On self:
1. Stop trying to "find" yourself and start trying to create yourself.
This will change the way you look at everything. We all, especially at this altering time in our lives, experience uncertainty. So instead of dwindling in desperation and doing things in the hopes of discovering who you are, decide who you want to be, what qualities you want to have, and what your passions are, and build that person, and stop the search for who you are.
2. Keep a journal.
It is the best meditation as well as a tangible way of keeping track of your goals. So make as many small goals as you can in your journal for every month, and follow through with them.
3. Remember that you, as much as anyone else on the planet, deserve your love and affection.
Having a sense of self-esteem is the most critical thing a person can have, not in the sense of greed or physical appearance, but of character. Self-love allows people to connect more deeply with others and the world around them. So start doing things for yourself and your overall wellness. Eat well and exercise because you want to feel comfortable and healthy in your own skin, not to impress others. Focus on what values you want to have, and appreciate yourself as a good person, and train yourself to base your worth from an internal place rather than on exterior value.
4. Always focus on building the new, and stop harping on what is old.
You've heard the saying “forget the past and focus on the new" a thousand times, but seriously start looking at your life right now, as it is, and make goals to decide what will ultimately make you happy, and how you can improve yourself.
5. At the end of the day, always choose to do what is best for your character, not your reputation.
I promise you will be happier with yourself in the long run.
On relationships:
6. Stop caring about your relationship status.
The way I see it, if you are single, it is because you are being called to focus on yourself, and if you are convinced everyone needs a relationship, you're not ready for one. Build the relationships in your life and love as much as you can, and make those things your priorities, not finding a boyfriend/girlfriend. Also, get a cat. Or dog. They make for great companions.
7. Have an “all or nothing" mentality.
Don't be someone's “sometimes." Never settle for anything that's half-assed. Either they are there for you at the end of the day and truly love you, or y'all need to break up…sorry.
8. Start figuring out who you can actually count on at the end of the day, and always keep those people close.
Decide who your real friends are, and put them first above everyone else. College sucks sometimes, and these are the people that you want to come home to, and will always be willing to help you out, or simply talk.
9. The second you feel like you have to prove your worth to some one, simply walk away.
Surround yourself with encouraging people that have good vibes only, and walk away from anyone that doesn't see how cool you are.
10. Rid yourself of toxic relationships.
Anyone who disrupts your peace of mind, self-esteem, personal space and overall wellness…goodbye. Life is too short to surround yourself with negative people. You deserve better.
On success:
11. Be willing to embarrass yourself.
“The possibility for greatness and embarrassment both exist in the same place. If you're not willing to embarrass yourself, you're not willing to be great." -Paul Angone. 'Nuff said.
12. Accept failure.
Again and again. Take as many risks as you can, because the biggest risk you can take in your 20s is taking no risks at all.
13. Construct your own definition of success, and don't let anyone do it for you.
Again, stop doing things for other people and focus on what will ultimately make you happy. Find out what your passionate about and do everything you can to make a career out of it.
Take advantage of your youth:
14. Go abroad.
Having the time and money to study abroad will be a pretty rare thing during the rest of your life so you might want to go ahead and get on that. Studying abroad allows you to get out of your comfort zone and build your self-esteem.
15. Drink both lots of water and lots of wine.
Always focus on drinking a lot of water during the day, and, well, having lots and lots of wine nights.
16. Go to at least one of the following while you're still young: Austin City Limits, Coachella, Lollapalooza, or any insane music festival.
This is the time, people.
17. Go on as many road trips as possible.
And bring your closest friends, because I promise you will have some of the most unforgettable moments on road trips in your entire college career.
Always keep in mind:
18. You should always give yourself permission to walk away from anything that gives you bad vibes.
You shouldn't even feel the need to explain it to yourself or make sense of it, just leave. Do what makes you happy.
19. Happiness is a choice.
Always ultimately choose to be happy at the end of the day. Train yourself to look at your life, even when everything seems hopeless, and find the good.
20. If all else fails, refer back to #15 and go ahead and open a bottle.
Accept that everything happens for a reason and have faith in that, and in the mean time, have a glass or two of wine.
