To this day, I struggle to remember how to address a letter, write a resume, or manage my money, but at least the Pythagorean Theorum and other useless fragments of knowledge are firmly implanted in my head. My math teacher was wrong: I’ve never used anything beyond pre-algebra in daily life, and geometry has not helped improve my pool game. So, to my high school, here are a list of things I wish you had taught me instead of calculus, trigonometry, geology, and other useless crap.
1. How to balance school, work, extracurriculars, social life, family time, time to yourself, and sleep without having a nervous breakdown.
In high school, it was all so easy. No one prepared me for this. Even my stress is stressed.
2. What taxes are and how and when to pay them.
I just kind of wait until I start seeing commercials for TurboTax.
3. How to take out a loan.
Apparently, you have to have something called “collateral,” and you can't just demand banks to give you money.
4. How to cook things other than eggs and grilled cheese.
Thank the Lord there is Google to tell you step-by-step instructions.
5. How to ask for a raise.
Apparently saying that you’re broke and need more money isn’t the proper way of going about it.
6. How to write a resume.
Again—thank you, Google.
7. How to manage money.
Far too often I have too much month at the end of my money.
8. How to responsibly use a credit card.
Interest, late payments, minimum payments, etc. This all needs to be taught. If you manage it right, you can even make money off of your credit card. Who knew?
9. What our rights are when interacting with the police and the law.
Cops are out to protect us, but with the increasing number of crimes involving cops as the criminal, I’d like to know what they and I can and can’t do.
10. How to ace a job interview.
This is pretty important because people don’t just hire you based on the resume that you were never taught how to write properly.
11. Conflict resolution.
If this was taught in schools perhaps fewer people would be in jail and more marriages would last.
12. Car maintenance.
When do I need to change my oil? What does that beeping mean? How to change a tire? How do I jump-start my car? Do you really want to be one of those people that rely on AAA?
13. Saving money and anything about CD’s, stocks, bonds, 401Ks, etc.
AKA—how to be able to live your retired life laying in a hammock somewhere warm rather than being broke and forced to sell your arthritis pain meds.
14. Insurances you need.
Which is better? The Geico gecko or the Aflac duck?
15. Funeral preparations, wills, etc.
It’s unbelievably expensive to kick the bucket.
16. Emergency survival techniques.
How to start a fire, edible plants, etc. Just in case you are shipwrecked on an island on your trip to Aruba.
17. How to safely use a knife.
I’m not talking about a butter knife either.
18. Child care and the responsibilities for caring for one.
There would be way less teen pregnancy if this was taught. A baby is not like a puppy. Babies are way louder and more demanding.
19. How to read an actual paper map.
Hint: The blue lines are rivers.
20. How to survive on your own.
Basically, this is a combination of all of the above mixed with a little common sense.
