This September I will be 20 years old. Even though there isn't too many things that change at 20 legally, there is a change in mindset. At 20, you are no longer a teenager. Your age doesn't end in "teen." For some, this might just be another year; for others, including myself, this will be a time of reflection. On top of dropping my "teen" status, I will be 20 on the 20th of September. This is a so called "super birthday": when your age and date of birth are the same number. Some say it will be the best of your life. I'll get back to you on that. Here are 20 things I have learned in my life that have gotten me to where I am today.
1. Be humble.
I learned this lesson after I lost my house to Hurricane Isabel in 2003. I was out of a home for over three years and went through financial hardships on and off the the remainder of my childhood as a result of the storm. I learned about how quickly things can come up and change your life forever; things you have no control over. Realizing all I am fortunate for in my life has shaped me into the person I am today.
2. Thrift is key.
Growing up without a lot of wiggle room as far as finances go, I learned about how easy it is to save money. Coupons, and thrift stores have saved me thousands. Sometimes when you want to buy the most expensive jeans or the nicest handbag, just remember: In 20 years no one is going to remember the jeans you wore or the bag you carried; they will instead remember the kind of person you were, and the impact you made on their life.
3. Learn to forgive.
Forgiveness is a touchy topic, for anyone. Some things are harder to forgive than others. No matter how hard it has been, I am more at peace than I have ever been since I forgave those who had betrayed me. Forgiveness does not excuse their behavior, but rather prevents their behavior from destroying your heart.
4. Have an open mind.
I grew up in a small town where most people thought, looked and acted the same. I never learned to have an open mind until I came to college and I realized how narrow-minded I had been my entire life. I was apprehensive of those who weren't just like me. I am glad to have learned that I was wrong, and I love that I learned it now.
5. Never stop improving.
Always have the desire to learn more. You can never know enough, and knowledge helps the world. You never know when you could use something you have learned, and learning can never hurt. Always have the desire to learn, because to learn is to help society as a whole.
6. Don't be afraid to try new things.
My first year of school I was slightly intimidated by all the opportunities I had access to on campus. I was intimidated because I didn't believe that I could achieve all or any of the things I did. I got over my insecurities and threw myself out there. I achieved so many things in one year and met so many people that changed my life. Getting involved on campus was the best thing I've ever done for myself.
7. Honesty IS the shortcut.
A lot of the time people lie, it's because they believe its a shortcut, or the easy way out. As we I'm sure have all learned, lies catch up to you. You can't escape the truth forever. You can decide to be upfront, and own your mistakes from the beginning to salvage what you can of what you had. People make mistakes, but lying isn't the way out.
8. Take chances.
Even if you're shy, even if you're insecure, put yourself out in the world. Introduce yourself. If something feels right give it a try. Know the consequences of all your choices, but also don't live in fear. You never know what a chance could do for your resume, your social life or your career. Be brave, be confident and trust what your heart tells you.
9. Trust your instincts.
When you know something is right, when you know something is wrong, believe yourself. There is a reason you feel that way, don't let anyone talk you out of what you know with deceitfulness.
10. Happiness is a choice.
My grandma has always told me this, and it's gotten me out of bed many of times. "Every day you have a choice to let someone steal your happiness." There are so many things we can't control, but we can work to not allow others to steal our happiness. Don't sweat the small stuff, and move on.
11. Believe in yourself.
Confidence is half the battle. In my life, it is most of the battle. However, if I hadn't been confident enough in myself and my worth, I wouldn't be a Peer Mentor, a Conduct Board Justice, a writer and editor for the Odyssey, or even a Longwood student. Confidence got me here, and it is key.
12. Think about the future, but don't drown in it.
This past year, I have had to think about the future more than ever before. I would have never thought the things I've been thinking about would occur at 20. However, God had a different plan for me than I expected. I've learned in the last year that I don't have to worry. God is in control, and worrying will not change anything but my own happiness.
13. Work hard.
I have always worked, specifically with children. As a teenager up until college, I worked in my hometown with kids and fast-food. At Longwood I have two jobs to help pay for college. Because of my work ethic, I have learned professionalism and life skills. Working teaches and matures people, and it is one of the main reasons I am who I am today.
14. Be yourself in every environment.
Nobody likes fake people. Be yourself, and be confident in it. It's not about the quantity of friends, rather the quality of your friends.
15. Don't procrastinate.
You hear it all the time. You know its true. A lack of planning on your part does not constitute and emergency on anyone else's part. Be responsible for yourself, and get things done early to avoid stress.
16. Give the benefit of the doubt.
There's a lot more going on in people's lives than we tend to realize or care about. Always give someone the benefit first, if you're wrong that's OK. But people will notice how well or poorly you treat them, and they will remember you in that way.
17. Try to see every point of view.
A lot of times frustration blocks other points of view. Allow yourself to breathe and relax before you react, you will thank yourself later, and don't stress too much.
18. Trust God.
Without trusting God, I wouldn't have been able to get through the things I have conquered in my life. God has brought peace to my life and abundant blessings. Trust that He has a plan, and you will be provided for. He knows what has happened, what's happening, and what will happen. Trust Him in everything.
19. Know your worth.
Don't settle for less than you deserve. If you feel you're being treated in a way that is any less than you deserve, then take care of it because you're right. Everyone should feel respected, loved and deserving.
20. Love with all your heart.
Life is too short to question anything and miss out on something you know is right. Give things a try, be brave and don't waste time. Regrets steal joy, and distract people. Go for what you want. Love everyone. Be kind. Not only will it make others feel special, it will make you feel good.
