Some of us are at the point in our lives where we think about being a full-grown adult. Being 20-somethings, we think about graduating with degrees, moving out, starting a new job and about marriage. But I don’t.

I fully intend on moving out one day. I fully intend on starting a job in the field that I want to go into. But I do not intend on getting married. Some people are so taken aback by this decision and while I’m not usually the type of person to explain why I do anything, I think it’s time I explain one of the reasons why I believe modern marriage is not something I want to take part in.

Our generation doesn’t date anymore.

We are so engulfed in sitting by the phone to see three dots pop up on a screen and to see if a “read” receipt comes up underneath a message that we forget what relationships are really about. Whatever happened to being excited to hear a phone ring the next day, instead of hoping they add you as a friend or follow you on any form of social media to see what types of photos or videos you add? Whatever happened to someone genuinely wanting to sit down with you and look at you face to face and have a conversation with you?

It doesn’t exist these days.

While I am not completely innocent to the “we’re talking” phase/almost-relationships or relationships that are just a modern college-couple's day (texting, homework, movies, bed, wake up, repeat) I can fully admit to being completely tired of it. I can also admit (and calling myself, as a female, being guilty to) that both males and females are to blame for infatuation with technology these days, and to be honest, it's just not something I want to be a part of anymore.

I’ve been in both almost-relationships and relationships and both are extremely painful these days to try to maneuver without the constant contact of a phone. I never fully understood why until finally I realized, we never really enjoyed a time together other than watching movies in a room and texting day in and day out. There was never a time where we did something that one another enjoyed that wasn’t connected to a conversation on the phone or commenting on a movie. We never played mini-golf, we never laughed about who fell down in laser-tag the first time we went out together. Instead, we cried or laughed at the television show or movie on the screen that someone chose on Netflix. Going on dates after meeting them for the first time, getting to know someone without bubbles on a screen, seeing what their interests are and seeing what really makes them smile in person is something that is so beautiful; it so organic. It is so rare. While watching movies together is something I enjoy, it's not all that I want to do. I want to make memories in places that we traveled, about how the fish I caught was bigger than the other's, or vise-versa. I want to laugh about who won more tickets at the arcade and beg them to get the stuffed bear on the shelf even though I know they would pick it anyways.

Smiley faces and cute pictures over a phone screen can make me laugh or smile, but I would much rather see someone’s face light up at the way they look at something while I’m standing in front of them. I would much rather hear someone’s giggle than see the letters “LOL” pop up on my screen. I would much rather feel someone’s body warmth when they’re sitting across from me at a dinner table without any phone in sight and having an intellectual conversation that lead to seeing how late the time was and laughing about how the staff probably wants to go home, than hearing someone say “wow, my phone is really hot, it’s burning my hand” over a phone or video call. Having someone look me in the eye, or looking someone in the eye and hearing how they like my smile, they love my eyes or telling them how much I love their smile or eyes is so much more enjoyable than seeing a message on my phone telling me how they “like” my new photo that I added. We get excited and feel validation of attraction from another person by seeing the message of a “like” on a photo, or if they texted us the next day. In my eyes, it just isn’t enough. In my eyes, it’s simply not genuine.

So until I get asked on first, second or third dates, until someone would rather look me in the eyes like I would theirs, rather than “liking” my photo I posted on social media, I do not want to get married. I want a relationship that is not based around or started through technology and texting. I want to be able to tell my kids how the person I married would smile at me, how they would move the hair from my face while we were at the restaurant because they liked to see the way my eyes looked in the lighting and that’s when they first knew they were in love with me. I want to be able to tell my kids that I fell in love with the way that their parent got so excited when they caught the first fish of the day. I don’t want to explain to my kids that their parents “liked” one another's photos that were added online time and time again until finally somebody decided to message the other. I want a genuine connection with another human being that I am going to be spending the rest of my life with, rather than having to worry about my connection to the Wi-Fi that won’t let me click on what they had just posted on social media and tagged me in.

Call me cliché, but I don’t want to be married to a person who I'm fully connected with through technology. I just want to be married to a person that I have a connection with.