I don't care who you are, no one is immune to the powers of the Food Network. It draws us in and convinces us that we can cook like beautiful celebrity chefs when in reality we are eating greasy leftovers in our sweatpants. For whatever reason, I just can't get enough, and these are some signs that you might have an addiction to this wonderful channel like I do.
1. You worship at the altar of Bobby Flay and Giada De Laurentis and you secretly hope that they get married one day.
2. You might not be able to cook worth a damn, but there's no doubt you are the harshest critic during these cooking competitions and you know you could do better than half of these fools.
3. "Cake Wars" gives you serious anxiety but it pulls you in every time because who doesn't love cakes and Aaron Samuels from "Mean Girls?"
4. You are under the impression that you could hold your own on "Chopped," and let's be honest, you could win the whole dang thing.
5. Alex Guarnaschelli is a crusher of dreams and your mortal enemy.
6. And Scott Conant is a beautiful angel who can do no wrong.
7. Every day you wonder why your invitation to "Chopped: College" hasn't arrived in the mail yet.
8. You find yourself using words like "palette" and "romesco" in daily conversation.
9. Everyone makes fun of Guy Fieri but you have an undying love for that man and you have no shame. Have you SEEN "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives??"
10. You live for that moment when the ice cream machine malfunctions on "Chopped" and all hell breaks loose.
11. You have thought about what your "point of view" would be if you went on "Food Network Star."
12. You have considered cancelling plans because of a "Chopped" marathon.
13. You understand and appreciate Bobby Flay and Michael Simon's wonderful bromance.
14. If Ted Allen from "Chopped" could narrate your life that would be ideal.
15. What's better than drunk food? Drunk-watching the "Food Network" while you wait for your drunk food to arrive.
16. Your cooking skills are limited to cereal and pasta but this channel has convinced you that you could make a mean rack of lamb and a killer side dish in under 40 minutes.
17. You found out "Barefoot Contessa" is on Netflix and you cried.
18. Sometimes you're four episodes deep, some idiot is trying to make pulled pork in 25 minutes, you're screaming at the TV and you realize this is it--you have lost all touch with reality.
19. You wish Gordon Ramsey would just move over to the "Food Network" already so all your favorite celebrity chefs could be one big happy family.
20. You understand that the "Food Network" is not just a channel, it's a lifestyle.
