Becoming an English major is one of the hardest things to do. Not because it’s a hard major, but because of all the crap you will mostly likely get from friends and family. If you are willing to go into this, you know what you're getting into. You must be strong willed and be ready to both correct and ignore all the uncultured swine of the world that doesn't accept your decision.
1. When your professor assigns a five-page essay and everyone starts complaining it's too long while you're like, "This will be the easiest thing I've done all week."
2. Your friends start asking how many midterms you have due within the next week and your response is "I have X amount of essays due."
3. You have gotten away without using a Scantron because who even uses multiple-choice questions. A test, what’s that?
4. You carry a pen/pencil and paper because you might have to analyze what the author is saying or you might be quizzed, either short answer style or essay style.
5. You're able to write two essays in an exam because you had more than one reading and everything connects, and everyone dies.
6. Your form of stress relief is reading but you can't even do that because it would qualify as homework, and homework always equals stress.
7. When your book list consists of over 15 books, and from those 15 only one is from a non-English class.
8. Your shelf on the bookcase is color coded and organized by the author while your roommate just uses the shelf for unused textbooks.
9. When you need a bookshelf. Enough said.
10. You find it hard to study for anything because everything is based on a book you may or may not have spark noted.
11. You have to worry about knowing quotes instead knowing equations.
12. Your backpack starts falling apart because it was not meant to carry so many books at once.
13. You're basically working towards a BS degree.
14. You know your degree is actually a B.A. but let's be real, our degree is basically a bunch of bologna.
15. You know how to pull a 10-page essay out of thin air -- the night before it's due.
16. You get asked to proofread other people’s work, although you can't even proofread your own work.
17. You know that Frankenstein is the doctor, not the monster. He is only ever referred to as the Creature.
18. You constantly have to explain that, "no, I don’t want to become a teacher, and yes, there are other things I can do with an English major."
19. You know the difference between literature and crappy writing.
20. You don’t care about all the reading and writing you have to do because it is something you love.
No, becoming an English major is not about the glory or even about staying sane, because who actually stays sane while being an English Major? Being an English major is about knowing who you are, what you want, and standing true behind it all. It’s something I’m proud to claim and proud to be. There might be points in time where I question this decision, mainly when I have two essays due on the same day, but it's not something I will ever regret.
