dad jokes
Start writing a post
Arts Entertainment

20 Of The Best Dad Jokes In Honor Of Father's Day

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punch line becomes apparent.

20 Of The Best Dad Jokes In Honor Of Father's Day

I am positive its a universal rule that all dad's HAVE to tell corny jokes. The kind of jokes that embarrass and make you cry laugh all at once. The jokes that are so stupid you just have to laugh.

There are probably millions of corny dad jokes, they are all probably hidden in some dad joke book in a vault somewhere. Here are some of the best ones I could find.

1. Why did the coffee go to the police?


It got mugged.

2. Patient: Doc, I keep having these dreams. First I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam; then I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?


Doctor: You need to relax. You're two tents.

3. Where do you learn to make ice cream?

At sundae school.

4. I wouldn't buy anything with velcro....

It's a complete rip-off.

5. Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop?

Forever 21

6. What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing. It just waved.

7. What do you call a fake noodle?

An Impasta.

8. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the pee is silent.

9. What do you call a deer with no eyes?

I have no idea!

10. I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language.

I don't know Y.

11. Cashier: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?"

Dad: "No, just leave it in the carton!'"

12. Spring is here!

I got so excited I wet my plants!

13. Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France?

They were cooked in Greece.

14. You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there?


15. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity....

It's impossible to put down!

16. Two peanuts were walking down the street.

One was assaulted.

17. Two guys walk into a bar....

The third one ducks.

18. What's Forrest Gump's password?


19. What does a vegetarian zombie eat?


20. George Clooney, Leonardo Dicaprio and Matthew Mcconaughey got together to make a movie.....

George Clooney said "I'll direct"

Dicaprio said "I'll produce"

and Matthew McConaughey said "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write"

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
October Is Overrated, Let's Just Accept This Fact

I have never liked the month of October. I like the fall weather and the beginning of wearing sweaters in the crisp fall air, but I never associated this with the month of October.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Plight Of Being Bigger Than A D-Cup

"Big boobs are like puppies: they're fun to look at and play with, but once they're yours, you realize they're a lot of responsibility." - Katie Frankhart, Her Campus


This probably sounds like the most self-absorbed, egotistical, and frankly downright irritating white-girl problem... but there's more to this I promise.

Keep Reading... Show less

An Open Letter To The Younger Muslim Generation

Fight back with dialogue and education.


Dear Muslim Kids,

Keep Reading... Show less

The Mystery Of The Gospel

Also entitled, "The Day I Stopped Believing In God"


I had just walked across the street from the soccer field back to the school. I turned around and saw the cars rushing, passing each other, going fast over the crosswalk where I had been moments earlier. “It would be so easy to jump in front of one of them,” I thought, looking at the cars. “I could jump, and this life that I’m stuck in would be over.”

Keep Reading... Show less

College as Told by The Lord of the Rings Memes

One does not simply pass this article.


College as told by the Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit memes. Everyone will be Tolkien about it.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments