I am positive its a universal rule that all dad's HAVE to tell corny jokes. The kind of jokes that embarrass and make you cry laugh all at once. The jokes that are so stupid you just have to laugh.
There are probably millions of corny dad jokes, they are all probably hidden in some dad joke book in a vault somewhere. Here are some of the best ones I could find.
1. Why did the coffee go to the police?Giphy
It got mugged.
2. Patient: Doc, I keep having these dreams. First I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam; then I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?Giphy
Doctor: You need to relax. You're two tents.
3. Where do you learn to make ice cream?
At sundae school.
4. I wouldn't buy anything with velcro....
It's a complete rip-off.
5. Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop?
6. What did the ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
7. What do you call a fake noodle?
8. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the pee is silent.
9. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
I have no idea!
10. I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language.
I don't know Y.
11. Cashier: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?"
Dad: "No, just leave it in the carton!'"
12. Spring is here!
I got so excited I wet my plants!
13. Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France?
They were cooked in Greece.
14. You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there?
15. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity....
It's impossible to put down!
16. Two peanuts were walking down the street.
One was assaulted.
17. Two guys walk into a bar....
The third one ducks.
18. What's Forrest Gump's password?
19. What does a vegetarian zombie eat?
20. George Clooney, Leonardo Dicaprio and Matthew Mcconaughey got together to make a movie.....
George Clooney said "I'll direct"
Dicaprio said "I'll produce"
and Matthew McConaughey said "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write"