- Never accept fruit from strange old women. She looks totally trustworthy. I mean look at that face.
- The only thing that matters is getting the guy/girl. Seriously, your life has no meaning if you don't spend your time running through strange lands looking for a spouse. (Looking at you, Prince Phillip.)
- Living with seven male strangers is completely acceptable. This won't freak my parents out at all.
- Divorce isn’t a thing. Either every couple gets together forever and ever, or one person dies before they can tie the knot, namely these two right here.
- Men don’t remember faces, but they do remember shoes. Is he checking out her bod, or just her shoes?
![]()
- Stepmothers are always evil. No exceptions.
- In fact, pretty much all parents are stupid. Just don't listen to anyone more than ten years older than you and you'll be fine.
- Woodland creatures are hygienic and can be trained with music. There's no way we'll get fleas from this.
![]()
- First kisses are never awkward and always perfect. Even animals have perfect kisses! Thanks for making me feel inferior, Disney.
- Every woman has perfect proportions and a low percentage of body fat. I mean, it's impressive and all, but she lives in the freezing depths of the ocean. Shouldn't she need more body fat for warmth?
- Fairies give the worst gifts. Beauty? Pretty singing voice? Obedience? Please, you couldn’t like make her impervious to dudebros?
![]()
- Girls can’t swordfight…unless they’re pretending to be a guy.
- If the girl is the hero, it's still pretty man-centric. Mulan fought to save her father, Giselle fought the dragon only to save Robert. Kida is pretty heroic, but she's turned into crystal for most of the movie. Merida is the only princess who kicks butt the whole time but it is only because there IS no guy. What could this mean...
- Getting married at 17 or younger is totally normal. Photo of princesses at their real ages, complete with chubby teenage cheeks, braces, and acne, courtesy of Buzzfeed.
- You can do anything in a dress. Anything. Fight a dragon, run through the woods, climb a building in the pouring rain, etc.
![]()
- People break into song all the time. And everyone knows the words. Convenient.
![]()
- Kissing is the only thing that couples do. Even though kids are a thing.
- Running away will solve all your problems. Yup. Definitely works.
![]()
- Historical accuracy means nothing. Pocahontas was 11 when she first met John Smith (ewwwww).
- Sixty percent of important female role models are white. Even higher, if you count Elsa and Anna.
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
