Outside of the monthly allowance a parent may deposit into your college checking account, they become so much more to you in college. If you thought their parental duties were mitigated because you were no longer in need of a spanking, halfway into your first semester of college proved different. What happens when your new air of independence meets the reality of failure and uncertainty? You’re in an 8 a.m. a math class with a professor’s who has a terrible accent? It’s Saturday morning and you’re stomach is rumbling waiting for the café to open? Your roommate is loud or does not shower? You must decide whether to go without gas or without lunch? Or, you're in the big city, you return to your car to be greeted by a boot on your car? In the midst of it all, they are your biggest fans in the great transition from adolescence to adulthood.
True Friends
Beyond the embarrassment they may have been in middle school or high school in front of your friends or sticklers, your parents both become a special kind of friends. Some high school friends change, some you may never see again beyond high school, and others sadly die. Despite those friendships with your high school peers, college allows one to see their parents as a source of support in troubling times. Who do you turn to for financial advice? Advice on how to deal with a difficult professor? Love? Heartache? Patience? Personally, everything my father has told me about college has come to pass. Sometimes I wished he was wrong however life has a way of parent’s wisdom. It’s almost as if they see the world through another lens or dimension called experience. They will offer you the truth and their insight on a situation while allowing you the independence to make your own mistakes. And when you do bump your head they will never cease to love you unconditionally. Friends of all levels come and go; however, your parents will be your true friend…your number one fan.
Human
As a young child I saw my dad and mom as superheroes. My father was the strongest man I thought existed and my mother’s touch could heal the sickest patient in the world. But today you find that those gray hairs which steadily inch across your parent’s heads each time you return home from college for thanksgiving or winter break, serve as the conduit for a chilling realization. This realization is that all of your childhood and adolescent defiance was built on the innocent assumption that you could have your parents forever. The moment you discover your mother being increasingly short of breath? Or the moment you realize your father has started wearing glasses? And so you embraced your “creators”, the two humans who conceived you in love. You embrace the humanity within them that is capable of mistake but also unconditional love. Sure at times they may be overbearing or their expectations may be hard to fulfill; however, they do it in love.
As a senior in college who is getting ready to graduate, I find the beauty of our “creators” to lie in the fact that their efforts and love can never be repaid. I came to understand my “independence” throughout college to be like a new car. As a Freshman I was excited to drive my new found independence around until I realized what it took to maintain this independence. This independence is necessary in the rite of passage to manhood or womanhood that experiences in college contribute towards. For those of us fortunate to have parents in our lives during college, their counsel and support is like real-life insurance akin to a stellar insurance service like OnStar or AAA. Yes they might be overbearing or very particular but in the end they hope to keep us safe from some of the many road bumps that they encountered. To embrace the privilege of building a deeper relationship with the beings who raised you throughout college is a priceless experience. Luckily there is no premium for this “parental-insurance”.
