There are some things we can only truly understand through experience and time. Here are just nineteen of the things I learned by the time I turned nineteen:
1. You are the most important person in your life
A psychology teacher once told me, "Ultimately, you are the most important person in your life." At first I didn't believe her, but she was absolutely right. You can't rely on others to do everything for you or to take care of your every ailment. Someone can't make all the decisions for you or tell you what to say. It is up to you to decide for yourself what you want in your life and how to get it, and at the end of the day you have to live with your regrets and decisions. Stop worrying about what everyone else says and wants, and start worrying about what you want for yourself. You'll be much happier in the long run.
2. You are beautiful just the way you are
You hear this a lot nowadays, but once you believe it you understand just how true it is. Societal constructs of 'beauty' are overrated and, quite frankly, ridiculous. You were made to be an individual, and no one but you has the power to determine your beauty. Stop hiding inside a shell and start loving who you are, because the real you is absolutely beautiful.
3. The world is a very big place...
Moving away for college was the first time I'd ever moved, and it made me realize just how big the world is. Get out, explore, and travel when you can. There's so much to see, so many people to meet and so many things to experience. Don't inhibit yourself and don't be afraid. Sure, things are different at school than at home, but I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. The world is a very big place: get out and experience it.
4. ...but also a very small place.
On the other hand, the world is incredibly small. As I've gotten older, I've come to understand the incredible bond humans have to each other and just how beautiful it is. In times of joy, we share the wealth with those around us, and in times of need we come together to aid and support one another. We share our triumphs and our downfalls, and in connecting with others we not only develop a better understanding of humanity, but also of ourselves as individuals. Appreciate everyone in your life, as each person brings you new experiences, new memories, and new lessons.
5. Happiness is the fuel of life...along with coffee.
I've always been a coffee drinker, and now that I'm in college I drink more coffee than anyong should. Ironically, it's not (always) the coffee that keeps me going throughout the day: it's the joy that comes with getting lunch with my best friend, telling jokes in class or participating in the clubs I've come to love. Life isn't always peaches and cream, but it certainly isn't all that bad, either. Just being happy and appreciating all the blessings in my life keeps me going strong each and every day.
6. Do what you love and love what you do.
I study art. Theatre, to be more exact. I chose to take a huge risk with my career and education, but I also chose to follow my dreams. For as long as I can remember, I loved to perform, and when it came time to apply to colleges, I knew I wanted to continue my study of theatre. Despite my plethora of classes, rehearsals, auditions, and critiques, I never feel like I'm working really hard because I absolutely love what I do. If there's one thing I've learned, it's to follow your dreams, pursue your passions, and fall in love with whatever it is that makes you happiest.
7. Weight, height, dress size: they're all just numbers
Growing up as a female, there is an incredible amount of pressure to be that 5 foot 10 inch, 100 pound, size zero model. That's absurd. I'm not that model, nor will I ever be that model, but I don't have to be to be beautiful. The number on the scale is just that-- a number. The size of my dress won't change how much I'll rock it with a cute pair of black pumps and some lipstick. I may be tall, but my height doesn't make me freakish or monstrous: it helps me to stand tall and proud of myself and all I've accomplished. Don't let the numbers lie to you, because you're absolutely gorgeous.
8. Don't be a conformist
Society will try to make you everything and anything but the thing you actually want to be. People will convince you that you have to wear those particular clothes to look 'cute' or have to wear makeup everyday because your natural self is too flawed to go without it. But you don't have to listen to any of it. Your heart beats to its own rhythm; you march to your own beat. Stop trying to be something you're not, and start being the person you really want to be. It's never too late to change, and you'll be much happier when you start being your true self.
9. Take pictures
Nowadays, it's so easy for our lives to exist in ten second intervals and hold value only in the number of 'likes' a moment receives online. Let your life be more than just a snap to a friend or a 'like' on Instagram. Take pictures of things you love, of things you hate, of things you find interesting or different or that catch your eye. Print them out. Litter your walls with them. Your life means so much more than any social media could justify: let it carry the weight it should.
10. Write
Write about your day. Write your favorite drink order. Write a love song. Write a letter to your grandmother on her birthday. Write everything and everything that comes to mind. It doesn't matter what you write, just write. Writing is the written form of your own spoken words. Let it exist and share it with the world.
11. Put your family first
It's really true: at the end of the day, your family is always there to support and love you. Sure, you may fight or misunderstand each other sometimes, but these are the people that love you unconditionally. Love them, too, and let them know you love them.
12. Mom knows best
As much as we don't want to admit it, mom really does know best. There's a reason she packed all that extra laundry detergent and made sure your brought Mr. Snuggle Bear to college no matter how embarrassed you were on move-in day. When you fell off that fence and broke your leg, you thought about Mom saying, "please be careful," because you knew you weren't being careful. Every time you refused to take a jacket and ended up freezing, you realized mom was right. Mom just wanted to make sure you were ready for anything. Even as you grow up, you realize mom is still the one to go to when things get rough because she always has the answer. Thanks, Mom.
13. People come and go, and friends do change
This is a tough pill to swallow, but a necessary one. Sometimes, the people you think will always be a part of your life disappear for one reason or another. And sometimes that's okay. It sucks, and you can never really fill those holes left from the past, but you learn to accept what has transpired, look back on the past, reminisce on the good times and say thank you. Friends come, friends go, and each one brings a new journey into your life.
14. Independence is an amazing thing, and a necessary thing
Independence is a huge part of growing up, be it financial independence, moving away from home, or learning to stand on your own two feet without having to lean on others for support. You are stronger than you think, and although it's difficult, learning to live your life as an individual will make interpersonal relationships that are much more successful and rewarding. You have to be able to stand on your own before being able to stand with another person. Don't be afraid to be the strong, independent person you've always wanted to be.
15. Teach
Teach your sister. Teach your friend. Teach the kid you babysit on the weekend. Whether it's how to shoot a basketball, solve a math equation or set up a blog, you have knowledge you can impart onto others. You have something beautiful to offer this world. It's worth sharing with as many people as possible.
16. Fall in love over and over and over again
Love is really hard. What's even more difficult is deciding if you're in love, in lust, or in love with love. If you only crave their body and physical affections, it's lust. If you constantly dream about a wedding, or the perfect date, or dancing under the stars but don't think about the person, you're in love with the idea of love. But, if you think about that special person in your life-- how they smile and laugh, the glow they have in their eyes, the special jokes you share and all the memories you've made and continue to make-- you may have stumbled upon love. You're probably going to mess up a handful of times before figuring out just how love really works. Let the mistakes happen! You're only human, afterall.
17. Let loose
School isn't everything. Homework isn't everything. Your job isn't everything. It's not a crime to take a personal day to do something you love once in a while. You're only young once: don't let the insanity of life prevent you from living.
18. Trust yourself
There's a reason people say 'go with your gut.' Stop ignoring it. Trust it and take a chance. Like with that crush you've had for the past three weeks-- go ahead and take a chance on it! Who knows? It could be the best decision of your life.
19. Be the best 'you' you can be
Accept who you are, flaws and all. Work each and every day to be a better person, friend, student, employee, or whatever other title you may possess. Smile, laugh, make memories and seize the day. There's only one you in this world, and who better to play the role than you?
