During those glory days of freshman year, wearing the highest heels, falling off of tables at bars, and taking endless tequila shots seemed like the best way to spend a Saturday night. Now, practicing sensible bar techniques might make you a candidate for the oldest person at your school's popular college bar.
1. When you use your real, state-authorized I.D. to get in.
2. The guy checking I.D.s seems suspicious of your I.D., because you’re the first person he’s seen all night not using a fake.
3. When they start asking for school I.D.s as additional proof, you don’t have to shamefully abandon your place in line.
4. An underager using a fake I.D. asks to stand in-between you and your friend so their fake seems more real. Does that trick even really work?
5. Someone behind you who looks 12 asks if you’ll pass back.
6. Once inside, it’s immediately apparent you’re the most sober person in the bar.
7. Your first thought is ordering a glass of wine, not the tequila shots the 18-year-olds next to you are knocking back.
8. You forget that it’s socially inappropriate to order wine at a grungy college bar, so you have to settle for a mixed drink.
9. You remember that college bartenders have no idea how to make mixed drinks, so you end up with a rum and coke strong enough to sedate a horse.
10. Nasty drinks in hand, you and your friends opt for a booth in the corner instead of a spot on the dance floor.
11. No matter how many potent mixed drinks you have, dancing is simply out of the question.
12. You drink a responsible amount of alcohol, because you’re too old for hangovers.
13. You are the only person dressed appropriately for the cold weather. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing a sweatshirt and flannel-lined jeans, your mission is to drink, not get frostbite.
14. Even if the weather is warm, you’re probably wearing jeans and a comfy t-shirt, unlike every other girl there in a skirt or dress.
15. Your Snapchat story is not full of drunk pictures of you and your girls in the bathroom, because no one needs 15-minute updates of your night out.
16. You haven’t blacked out since the second semester of college.
17. Finding out the real age of the person you were hitting on.
18. You’re starving, but guess what: college bars only serve liquids.
19. The entire time you and your friends are sitting there, you’re wishing you were home on the couch drinking a beer, eating takeout, and watching Netflix.
