Looking back at my high school days and first year of college, I've learned a lot. That being said, I had some hard lessons and I kind of wish I would have had a little warning before they happened. As life goes on, though, nothing can be predicted. The only advice that works for every situation you are going through right now or will go through is this: whatever you are going through is normal, a lot of people deal with it, and things will get better.
1. Your parents actually have your best interest in mind
I know it's hard to believe; right now your parents just seem like fun suckers and they're ruining your life! What you don't understand, though, is that they really aren't. They are doing their best to set you up for success, and they just want to see you happy. The next time they don't let you go to a party, the cabin with friends, or something else you need to do, please try to remember that. Believe it or not, your parents were young once, and they know what certain situations can lead to, and they don't want to see you get hurt like they might have.
2. You don't need to have your life planned out just yet
At this age you're supposed to be enjoying every second of life, not stressing over it. I know it can sometimes feel weird going to college with an undeclared major, but so many people do it! This time of your life is about finding what you're passionate about, and learning about yourself. As you are doing that, you will decide what you want to do with the rest of your life, no matter if it's a traditional job or something you never saw yourself doing before.
3. Do what you love and commit to it
Once you do finally figure out what you would love to do with your life, commit to it. I can't explain the feeling you get when you can imagine your future and see yourself being happy with your life decisions, but it's amazing. If you can honestly see yourself doing whatever you have in mind for forever, it shouldn't be too hard to commit to it. Committing to your future is one of the best decisions you could ever make, and working hard for it now will pay off!
4. The friends you have right now won't be your friends forever, and that's OK
Just like anyone, I've had my fair share of friendship "break ups." They suck, but it's just one of those things everyone goes through. It's not your fault or theirs, people are meant to grow, and with that, they grow away from people; even the people they are the closest with. It's uncontrollable and unpredictable, but it's really for the best. It allows you to discover new interests and new people and friends. I'm not saying you should be scared to have a best friend, or that you won't be with friends that you've had since you were 5. I'm just saying that it happens to a lot of people, and it's OK. Maybe you'll reconnect in a few years or at a class reunion, but until that don't dwell on the past.
5. It's OK to make mistakes
With growing up comes making mistakes, it's how we learn. If you play everything by the book, you're just learning from what others have been telling you, not from what you know to be true. So don't be scared to try something new, it just might be your new favorite thing to do! You live and you learn, and what's living without a few bad decisions here and there?
6. Be direct; don't be afraid to speak your mind
Looking back, I have finally realized that I let people walk all over me and that's just not right. If you're getting treated badly, tell someone! Whether it's getting professional help or just telling someone to get out of your life, do it. It'll be better for you, and that's what really matters. In another aspect, let your opinions be heard. If you disagree with someone, tell them and get any unresolved feelings under control. By not letting something that you should have said eat you alive, you'll be able to live freely and move on.
7. Being in a relationship, or not being in one, does not define you
I was never one to date in high school, and in retrospect, I am completely okay with that. Without being in a relationship, I was able to focus on me more and figure out what I want to do with my life. On the other hand, those who do date are more likely to find what they are actually looking for in a relationship. No matter what kind of person you are, if you like to date or not, it should not and does not define what kind of person you are. I am a firm believer that your happiness should not be defined by another person, and that ties perfectly into this idea. Am I saying that you should change your ways? No; I am simply putting out the idea that the ideas of society should not determine your lifestyle. Live for you.
8. Put in effort at school
I know it's hard, but it'll help your future at college so much if you put in the effort at high school. The more College in the Schools, Advanced Placement, or PSEO classes you take now (that are free), the less you'll have to deal with generals at college (that are not free). This means that you have the possibility of graduating early, getting into your major's program sooner, and much more. Even if you don't take any of the college level classes, how you are in high school can affect what kind of student you are at college. Start working on good study habits and time management now, and it will be less of a shift when you are forced to care about your grades more.
9. Forgive: yourself and others
By forgiving the actions of others, you are able to move on passed any bad situation you may have to go through. By forgiving yourself, you are learning to love and accept yourself. Either way, forgiveness leads to a happier life, I can guarantee that.
10. Be faithful; trust in His plan
Over the last year, I have become more and more aware of God and his presence in my life. He has our lives all planned out for us already, we just have to follow His guidelines. I think this is something to believe in, especially during the hard times in your life. It's hard to remember sometimes, but it's comforting to know that someone has taken the time to plan your life out for you before you have even thought that far ahead.
11. Don't settle
This one kind of goes along with the "be direct" segment. Just like you shouldn't just roll over when someone is rude to you, you shouldn't settle when you aren't completely satisfied. If people are telling you how lucky you are to be in a relationship with someone but you aren't happy, do what you have to do to make it better. If you aren't happy where you are in your life, make the necessary changes to be happier with yourself. It's simple really, just do what you need to do to be a happy person.
12. You are allowed to change
Believe it or not, people are changing 24/7 and you are no exception. If you have your mind made up one day and then wake up the next with a completely different idea, so be it. As you grow up you are going to find that you have new interests and values in life, and you are allowed (encouraged even) to change to adapt to those new things.
13. Surround yourself with positive energy
We feed off of positivity, so by surrounding yourself with positive people and energy, you are giving yourself a better chance of success. Cut the toxic and negative people out, no matter how hard it is, and BE HAPPY.
14. Know when to say no
Whether it's when you're being pressured into something you don't want to do, or when something you usually do with friends goes too far, know when to say enough is enough. This will help you both now and in the future; knowing your limits is a huge part of life. With saying no also comes saying yes. It's OK to do something fun when you're having a bad day, or taking a quick (or long) study break to have a night with your friends. It's all up to you and what you know is good or bad for you.
15. Cherish those around you
You never know how much time you have with those you love, so make every second with them count. Tell them you love them, tell them why you love them and just have a good time with them. Even if you aren't able to be with them in person, make sure they know you still care for them and always will.
16. Don't waste your time thinking about the past; it can't be changed
We all do it. We all dwell on the past and what could have been, but we need to stop that. What happened happened for a reason, and there's nothing you can do now to change that. Accept the past, learn from it, move on and try not to let it happen again.
17. Follow your dreams
Do what makes you happy, no matter what other people say. Someone is always going to be in the background telling you that you are going to fail, but don't listen to them! Prove them wrong and prove to yourself and everyone else that you are capable of anything.
18. Love yourself
LOVE YOURSELF. LOVE YOURSELF. LOVE YOURSELF. I can't say it enough. A successful life begins with you loving and accepting yourself, so you might as well start now. You are perfect no matter what. You were made just how you were supposed to be, flaws and all.
There's so much I've learned in my life, but this list seems to sum it up pretty well. Basically, I believe that you should do whatever makes you happy, and if people disagree with you, then it's their loss. Do whatever makes you happy and you will live a wonderful life.
