Two short days ago I reached a milestone that most teenagers dream of; I turned 18 years old. As I reflect back on my past 18 years (mainly the past four of the true “teenage” years), I search for the best advice I could give to my younger peers. I do not think that those younger than me should avoid any experiences good or bad because they are all apart of the growing process that comes with adolescence, but there is nothing wrong with having some extra insight, right? Here are 18 things that I learned before turning 18:
1. Do NOT Take Yourself Too Seriously
Being the “Type A” perfectionist that I am, I would always take myself way too seriously. If I got a B on a paper? End of the world. If I could not go out with my friends on a Friday night? End of the world. For a long time I became so consumed in making sure everything I did in my life was perfected that I was simply afraid to live my life to the fullest in fear that I would not be perfect. Moral of the story: Do NOT do that!! Being young is all about learning and making mistakes. Be happy, smile more and most importantly be unapologetic for the person that you are.
2. Your Happiness is The Most Important Thing
While being young comes the derived right to be selfish. You should put yourself first. Do what is best for you. It is really easy to do what your significant other wants you to do or what your friends want you to do, but if that ultimately does not make you happy it isn’t worth it. You have only a few years in your life to be as close to care-free as possible. Enjoy them. If you can make yourself happy, everything else in your life will fall into place.
3. Your Friends Are Not Always Who You Think They Are
It is very rare that your best friend from the elementary school days will remain your best friend. On the small chance that they are, hold onto that person for dear life, because they truly love you for you even through all of your growing pains. But if that is not the case, always keep an extra trick up your sleeve. Just like you are going through growing pains, so is every one else your age. Everyone is different. Your “best” friend may be the one planting the knife in your back. If that is the case, do NOT retaliate. Trust me I have done it, it is not worth your time. They are most likely not a horrible person, they are just growing in the only way they know how to. Wish the best for them and move on.
4. Be Careful
Okay, time for my mom spiel. I know that it can seem really cool to go to parties, have a few drinks and be reckless with your friends. But, there can be serious consequences. Do not do anything you are uncomfortable with. It is so much better to be uncool for saying no to doing something dumb than to do something and know you only did it to impress those around you. Not only will you feel really dumb, you will feel like you lost all of your self-integrity. Also, it is not fun being the drunk friend that everyone has to take care of. So know your limits. If you are going to “try” something (not recommending but if you do) do it with people you feel safe with and in a safe environment. Be cautious and do not let your naivety get in the way of your safety.
5. Talk To Your Parents
If we are going to put our big girl panties on, lets be honest our parents will not be around forever. They may seem really old and uncool but they love you unconditionally. If you have a free Saturday don’t hide in your room and wish it away, go downstairs and talk to your parents. Ask them about their teenage experiences, ask them for advice; give them a chance. You may even relate to what they have to say. (Yes mom and dad, this is really your daughter saying this)
6. It Is Okay To Allow Other People In
My biggest mistake was not allowing anyone in. I was always guarded; I never allowed anyone to get too close. I missed out on possibly special relationships with other people because I was too afraid to allow people to know the real Mackenzie. I am not telling you to walk the streets telling everyone your life story, but if someone has a genuine interest in being your friend let them. Do not let your past experiences with crappy people dictate your future. There are people worth trusting in this world. I’ll admit I am still not the most open person, but I am working damn hard to be able to let other people in. Be authentic with others, you may just stumble across someone who truly cares about you.
7. Say Yes More
If your friend asks you to do something that you may not always do or have not had an interest in before, do not turn it down right away. As long as there is no harm to your well-being, what is the harm in having a new experience? Not only does this give you a chance to grow closer to other people, you get to know yourself a lot better. I surprise myself all the time. I try as often as I can to step back and say “what the hell, let’s do it!” Again, I am not a pro at this one either but I am working on it. Allow yourself as many experiences as possible, you never know where they may take you.
8. Do Not Stress Over School Too Much
Don’t get me wrong, girl. School is extremely important but worrying every second of the day is not going to help your cause. I actually found the more that I micromanaged the worse that I did in school. You are GOING to go to college. If that is what you want, I promise it will happen. You might not go straight out of high school, you may not go to your first choice school, but you WILL go. Everything will fall in place, just do the best that you can.
9. Fear is Your WORST Enemy
I find myself looking back and realizing how much I did not do because of fear. I did not run for student council because I was afraid other people would make fun of me. I did not try out for field hockey freshman year becauseI was afraid that I was not good enough and would have gotten cut. In the end, I realize I made so many decisions based on fear instead of fact. I could have had so many other opportunities come about if I did not let fear get in the way. So, do not let your fears stand in the way of things that you want.
10. Live Your Life Unapologetically
Be who you are. It is not worth being someone else to impress other people. You have to be the person that you want to be to be able to reach your highest potential of success. You cannot apologize for who you are or what you believe in. I think that finding yourself and who you truly are is a life-long process. You can learn something new about yourself every single day so be open to that. Do not let anyone else dictate your life. As long as you are in charge, there is no failing only growing!!
Take my advice for what it is. I am still young and I am still learning. To the next 18 years of learning and growing. Cheers!
