The month is April and it's about that time to fill up the coolers, put on the fanny pack and get on out to Snook, TX, because it's Chili Fest time. Chili Fest is a two-day festival consisting of Texas Country, chili, wine bags, and beer. Not to mention it’s all for a good cause! With Chili Fest coming around the corner, I just want to take a moment to relive those great moments you look forward to every year. For those of you who haven’t been blessed with the opportunity to go to Chili Fest or just haven’t heard about it, you’re going to want to go after this.
1. Coming up with your team name
One of the most important aspects of Chili Fest isn’t trying to come up with the coolest name ever. Requirement are the dirtier the better and make it super puny!
I don’t know why but camp out is always in February and you basically spend the whole night drinking with strangers and getting body heat from friends to stay warm because the temperature always hits 35 degrees.
3. Going shopping
Now by shopping I mean filling the shopping carts with about as many 30 cases of the cheapest beer you can find. And then also having another cart for wine bags and food, I guess.
4. Picking Spots
Picking spots is the key because you don’t want to be all the way in the back with the port-a-potty but then you also don’t want to be to much near the food at the front to where you cant see the stage. So if ever given the job as team captain I have something to say to you, answer your phone! Or you will be all the way in the back, in the corner.
5. Slapping the bag
Now even if you have never been to Chili Fest you probably have either heard of slap the bag or have done it yourself. Slapping the bag is a key element in the experience of Chili Fest and germs are not a priority. PS. You have to slap it, no excuses.
6. Texas Country
One of the greatest parts of it all. You get two days of non stop country music from the best of the best and it just gets better every year. Chili Fest is actually one of the many reasons I fell in love with Texas Country, but that’s another story.
7. Chili?
Okay so this thing is called Chili Fest but this is my fourth year and I have never seen chili there, ever. It’s probably because we don’t ever make any but I’m just saying, where’s the chili at??
8. Beer
Beer is key in everything. At Chili Fest that is the only alcohol that is allowed and provided, no liquor so beer is your livelihood for 2 days whether you like it or not. The amount of beer that is consumed is just an ungodly amount. And also beer thrones.
9. Port-A-Potty Selfies
For some reason there is this unspoken rule that all pictures whether selfie or group must be takin in front of the port-a-potties. I think it’s because for some reason that’s where you end up finding all of your friends and you just decided to take a picture but then also that where they have lighting besides the stage at night and we all know good selfie lighting is a must.
10. Couches and Coolers
Not only to you probably have a couch at your tent area but if you’re smart you also have one up at the main stage right to next to your coolers. This means you don’t have to keep going back to the tent for a new beer but make sure you have someone posted up at all times.
11. Who's gonna camp?
The biggest question at the end of the night Day 1. Who is going to give up there night in a comfy bed to hold down the fort and camp on site for the next day. That’s you giving up a shower. Gross.
12. Sneakin into Tents
What’s better then beer? Free beer. Sneaking into other people’s tents or making friend to get into tents is key survival.
13. Getting to the front of the stage
“Oh excuse me! My invisible friends are waiting for me at the front of the stage, so can I get through?” Elbows out ladies and gents cause it’s time to get to the front of the stage to see your favorite band up close and no one is stopping you
14. Chili Fest Attire
Attire for Chili Fest can go many ways it can go super cute, organized and efficient, or just plain wacky. I’m talking tucked in shirts, fanny packs, cowboy hats with the top cut out, rain boot or cowboy boots, high waist shorts, and more. You name it, we probably have worn it.
15. Frat Tents
Frat Tents are goals for us little teams over here. Wristbands, doormen, and architecture degrees are must in order to achieve the full Frat tent status.
16. Reliving embarrassing photos
Waking up after Day 2 and looking back at your snapchat and pictures and wondering why you were being pushed around in a shopping cart. Why?
17. Rain
Without a doubt it either rains one of the day every year or it rained earlier in the week so it is super muddy. Oh and what do you do when it’s super muddy, mud sliding of course.
18. Charity
Last but not least it’s super awesome that the people of Chili Fest not only through a crazy two day country part for us every year but they also donate to charity of every year. In total so far they have donated $2,500,000 to local charities.
With this all being said Chili Fest is the greatest time you will ever have. If you have gone you know what I’m talking about and you probably understood regretfully everything I listed. If this sounds super awesome then you should probably find yourself a team because that’s the best way to do it. Hope this sparked your interest! Chili Fest 2016 here we come.
