If you're like me, you suffer from migraines. If you're not like me, then you don't get migraines. You might get headaches but do NOT confuse them with migraines. Before you open your mouth to someone suffering from a migraine, please read the list of things not to say below. You're welcome!
1. "It's just a headache"
Stop right there. Don't say another word. First of all, it's not a headache, it's a migraine. Yes, they're different. I'd like to see you try and take this "head ache" on without complaining.
2. "Just lay down in a dark room"
Wow. What would I do without you and your amazing advice? Thank you! Why did I not think that removing myself from life was an option?
3. "You should try this..."
You really think I haven't tried everything in the book?! No, the thing you found online will not work. No, not everything that works for your friend's mom's co-worker will work for me. Everyone is different.
4. "Get some fresh air"
Silly me! Why didn't I think of that? I'll make sure to get right on that. Not. It's also hard to get some fresh air when all I inhale is cigarette smoke from everyone in public.
5. "I know how you feel"
This is what kills me every time I hear it. NOOO! You have no clue how I feel. Lucky for me, my migraines are hereditary. Say something so stupid one more time! I will cut you.
6. "You must not be that sick"
Oh yeah, just because I'm at work or class means I'm not silently suffering inside. Smell that weird smell? Yeah, that's me because I'm trying to still function but have to put some Bengay on my head for the pain. Hope it smells!
7. "Just change your diet"
Again, it's not going to work. Not everyone is the same. Just because eating a vegan diet helped someone, doesn't mean it will help me. When did you become a doctor?
8. "Were you just trying to skip work/class?"
You sure got me! My idea of a perfect day is trying to get rid of a migraine. The best part is when you've done all you can and it still won't go away. Oh yeah, and when you can't sleep because you're never comfortable. Don't you dare cry from the pain either because that only makes it worse.9. "Your head still hurts?!"
Yes, it still hurts. No, it's not any better. Yes, it can last for days/weeks at a time. Aren't you lucky you're not me?
10. "Get rid of the stress in your life"
I'm sorry, have you not been introduced to something called life? Hello, this is the year 2017 and things aren't getting any less stressful.11. "You should see a doctor about that"
Again with the great advice, I see. I've been to all the doctors. I have a neurologist. There's not some magical drug or surgery that can make them go away.
12. "Is it that time of the month?"
Yup, it's definitely just because I'm a woman and get periods. Idiot.
13. "Just drink some water"
Is this thing called water some miracle drink that I've never heard of? I must try it!
14. "It's all in your head"
Exactly! The pain is all in my head. And my temples. And my eyes. And my ears. And my neck. And my jaw. You're not helping it get any better.
15. "I get headaches but that doesn't stop me from going to work/school"
*Claps* Good for you! I'll get you a gold star. However, I'm sure your little headaches don't get near the extreme that my migraines do. Wanna switch?
16. "Have you taken some Tylenol, Aleve, Advil, Excedrin yet?"
No, actually I thought I would just and wait this one out and see how it goes. I feel like I'm popping Tic Tacs when I take an over-the-counter drug. I've tried everything. I need prescription strength medication.
17. "Maybe you shouldn't drink caffeine"
Actually, caffeine is what helps my migraines go away once I got one. Let me be with my large Coke from McDonald's. You're making my head hurt even more, mom.
