Much to my fast-food-loving father's dismay, we have recently learned that he has celiac disease. Basically, celiac means that you're allergic to gluten, so you can't eat foods containing wheat, barley, rye, and possibly oats. Along with his discovery, I learned that I too, mildly have this condition. So I'm learning how to cut out gluten while maintaining the "when am I going to eat next?" lifestyle of college.
These are my findings from the first couple of weeks of my dietary adventure:
1. You have to Google what gluten is, what common foods contain gluten, and how to substitute them. A.K.A. endless hours on Mom Blogs and Pinterest.
2. Grocery trips take three times longer now, due to even more Googling of what items have gluten and label readings.
*holds phone to ceiling for service*
3. When you finally do find the gluten-free section, if the packaging to a product looks somewhat appealing, you grab it. Then four more boxes.
"All of these chocolate chip cookie dough Quest bars are mine!" -me, whenever they're actually in stock.
4. You end up paying three times as much money for only three days worth of food.
$7 for microwave gluten-free macaroni? What a deal!
5. Cooking gluten-free is not as simple nor as pretty as Pinterest portrays.
Thank you Pinterest, for once again reassuring me that I have no talents when it comes to kitchen appliances and following directions.
6. Your new-found gluten-free favorites will be held near and dear to your heart. You will probably eat too much, assuming the food is healthier.
I'm talkin' to you, Meli's Monster Cookies. I. Love. You.
7. Alas, not all of your finds are delicious, but you will eat it anyways because it was so expensive.
You paid $10 for that bag of gluten-free low-sodium garden salsa kale chips, and you're not letting that go to waste, gosh darn it.
8. You annoy waiters by taking time to Google their gluten free menu and then proceed to ask them about it.
"Yes, I do need more time to look at the menu and also find a credible online source stating which items are gluten free."
9. Even if you do find a viable gluten-free option, you still are haunted by smell of all the things you can't eat.
Breadsticks? Pizza? Pasta? Not for you!
10. Eventually you will succumb to the gluten gods, and eat it anyway.
"If no one sees me eat this dinner roll then it doesn't count, right?"
11. You feel weird constantly turning down snacks when you're at parties or your friend's house.
*declines pizza* *silently starves in the corner*
12. When you say you're "gluten-free," some people will assume you're just trying to participate in a new diet.
Okay, no. I have a MEDICAL. CONDITION.
13. You'll bring your own snacks when you go out.
"Can I have a bite?" No, you can't. This bag of chips was $6 and is going to have to hold me over for 4 hours.
15. You'll eventually find fantastic alternatives to most of your old favorites, and that is a good day.
