Oh 2016. What a year.
Can you believe how much garbage went down within approximately 366 rotations of the Earth? 2016, although a great year in some respects, was a trash year in many other ways.
Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds died, the Zika Virus became a thing, and the Mannequin Challenge continued to be unoriginal—just to name a few of the terrible things to happen in 2016.
Join me as I narrow down the list and kvetch about the 16 worst things to happen in 2016.
1. The Mannequin Challenge
Dear God, I can’t even can’t how many times I watched a poor rendition of the Mannequin Challenge done at everyone’s Thanksgiving table. We get it. You think it’s funny to involve your whole family in a millennial trend. It’s not — it’s just unoriginal. Let’s leave this one in 2016. Sound good?
2. Lena Dunham
Can she just not? Miss Dunham is like the human version of a mosquito. She’s irritating, we don’t really know what her purpose is, and she just won’t go away. *Swat*
3. Flipping Water Bottles
Why is everyone so amazed at the fact that it’s possible to flip a water bottle 360 degrees? This isn’t that cool.
4. Vaping
“People who vape are so cool,” said no one ever.
5. Rob and Chyna
Ugh.
6. Over-drawn eyebrows
Eyebrows are supposed to look natural. When eyebrows look like giant bolded underscores hanging over your eye balls, it’s not cute. Make 2017 the year of natural brows.
7. Lace-up bodysuits
Basic. Basic. Basic. Why do you need a shoelace to keep your top together?
8. The No-Makeup look
Wear makeup, don’t wear makeup. I don’t care. But don’t consider yourself a hero because you decided to show the world what you really look like under all of those layers of foundation.
9. Social Justice Warriors
2016 was the year of the SJWs. Whiney whine whine—stay in 2016, please.
10. Floppy Felt Hats
Hear me out. Floppy hats are meant to be worn when it’s hot and sunny outside – presumably to block out the sun, right? Felt, however, is a material meant to be worn in the cold. Therefore, Floppy felt hats are kind of a paradox if you really think about it. Let’s leave this trend in 2016.
11. The use of the word ‘Bae’
I know you think it’s super original to post a picture with your significant other right in front of the Golden Gate Bridge and caption the photo “Bae Area,” but it’s not. Let’s refrain from using the word Bae in 2017.
12. Pokémon Go
Something about grown-up people chasing fictional characters around the city on their iPhones is unsettling. It was, and always will be weird.
12. Harambe's death
Rest in peace, dear Harambe.
14. Safe Spaces
Would you like a pacifier with that safe space? Please. No more of this in 2017.
15. Wedge Sneakers
It’s either wedges, or sneakers. Not both.
16. Rumors about Kimye getting a divorce
If you participated in spreading said rumors, we can no longer be friends. Kimye forever, okay?!
