The "lovely" game almost everyone knows about. It can be a variety of things... Yet. It is mostly associated with college students, immaturity, inhumane jokes, and, mainly, lots of sexual innuendos. However! I am here to tell the people of the world that in the midst of all the laughter, Cards Against Humanity accurately describes what every college student most desperately wants. Without further adieu, in no particular order, here are sixteen, nonsexual cards every college student wishes they could instantly possess.
1. Giving 110%
No matter what they say, every college student secretly wishes they could give 110 percent all the time.
2. Not wearing pants
Every college student wishes they didn't have to wear pants on a daily basis. If you're a college student and you disagree with this, are you really a college student?
3. Spectacular abs
Freshman fifteen? Whoops. *eats gummy worms while dreaming about having a beach body*
4. Active listening
As a college student, it is hard to find someone who actually cares and wants to listen to what you have to say- whether that would be about your personal life, something you're passionate about, the random Netflix series you're watching, etc. An active listener is something we want because we want to be heard.
5. Being rich
I got 99 problems and money can fix them all.
6. Domino's Oreo Dessert Pizza
Heaven in your mouth? Or possibly just food in your mouth. Food in my mouth would be great right now *reaches for another gummy worm*
7. Advice from a wise, old black man
Did anyone else think of Morgan Freeman? Or was it just me...
8. Free samples
Free. Free is good. Anything free is good. Very good. I like free.
9. Hope
No explanation needed.
10. Genuine human connection
Ouch. It's a big bite of reality to swallow, but yes, every college student wants a real, genuine human connection. There are too many fake things in life, including people. Whether we admit it or not, we are all desperately want and are searching for this.
11. Jobs
It's kind of why we pay a ridiculous amount of money we don't have so we can earn actual money to pay back the people who let us borrow the money we needed in order to help us make money. Man. That was a bit confusing.
12. A bag of magic beans
I have no clue what they would grow... But they're magic! And that's good enough for me and the majority of other college students
13. Some god d**** peace and quiet
Quiet hours? Quiet floor? What are those?
14. Puppies
Puppies? Animals? It doesn't matter. Just give me all the fluffies!
15. A can of whoop-a**
This would be nice... If we could use it.. Though I swear each student has one hidden in the back of their closet somewhere waiting to be opened when school is not in session.
16. The heart of a child
Literally. Or figuratively. I mean it figuratively though. Most college students have turned into Squidward Tentacles from SpongeBob SquarePants. We never wanted to be. Things just happen.
Thank you for reading this far! Since you have completed this journey, I will reward you with three interesting facts!
1. I don't swear. So I apologize for the language in some of the cards.
2. I don't actually like the game. I was only playing it because it was the main event at a gathering I was attending. Holy cow I sound super formal there. I am sorry. That is actually really funny.
3. I sorted through all these cards while watching a documentary on the Holocaust... I really am a horrible human being. And yes. If you are wondering. One of the cards Cards Against Humanity has is "the Holocaust."
