A New Perspective

A New Perspective

"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." – Anais Nin
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Per·spec·tive: A particular attitude or way of regarding something; a point of view.

Perspective — we all have one, whether we realize it or not, and it's a small factor that can make all the difference. Let's face it, life's hard. It's hard for everyone in some way or another. We all have stories that would break someone's heart. We all have things we struggle with and situations we could have handled differently. Your mistakes and your hardships are not what define you. What defines you is how you use them, how you see them and how you can grow from them.

It's easy to look at something that's happened to you and think, "This is so unfair, I don't deserve this." Honestly, that's probably true. You probably don't deserve it, but look around. If you're reading this, it's assumed that you have a roof over your head and a comfortable life, or at least access to modern technology, which is a blessing in itself. Most of you have families and friends and have experienced so much love in your lifetime. The point is, most people don't deserve what happens to them. But the difference are those people who say "How can I use this? Who will I be able to bless and guide because of this storm I'm in now?" instead of the ones who say, "Why me? What's the point?"

Even simple things need perspective. I'm so guilty of complaining whenever I get stuck in traffic. I'm so ashamed to say often times I think my life is "more important" in the moment than someone else's; that the world will stop if I don't get to where I'm going. It's not and it won't. Traffic, more often than not, is because of an accident. How selfish of us to complain when someone's child, sister, friend may be fighting for their lives just miles from us. What a blessing that in that moment we are not the ones fighting to breathe or receiving a call from the police about a loved one; we are just sitting in traffic. Traffic is a blessing; perspective.

Financial worry is everywhere today with the economy the way it is, I'm young and in college so I haven't been thrown into the "real world" yet, but I get that. Worrying about money is awful, and something no one wants to do, but guess what? You are able to worry about it. The beautiful thing about life is that it's always changing. You have people in your life that you get to worry about. You get to wake up knowing you are loved and you want to support the people you love, or even just that you get to support yourself.

This entire world is filled with people who don't even have a cent of money to worry about, they are only worried about surviving day to day with their loved ones. Sometimes we are taken to a low place so that we can remain humble when we get back to the top of the mountain. Some months are worse than others, sometimes you'll be crying over a stack of bills, but you are here and breathing. Those bills will still be there at the end of the day but it isn't guaranteed that your family will. Try to focus on the blessings and the reason you work so hard, the reason you are stressed in the first place. You have purpose in this world far beyond paying the bills; perspective.

In life there are people that you consider to be family, or maybe even your actual family, that stab you where it hurts. They kick you when you're down and you always thought they would be the ones to pick you up. Betrayal only comes from people you love, and it's hard. It's hard to stay positive because situations like that hurt the most. Sometimes the relationship can be saved, and sometimes they can't. Instead of holding onto the hurt, consider what the other person must be going through and the place they must be in to hurt you that way.

Consider what they have experienced and that perhaps that's the only way they were taught how to communicate. Perhaps they only know how to love the way they do, or maybe they truly are toxic and the end to this relationship is a hidden blessing. I saw a quote once that spoke to me and it was "I'm sorry for the people I hurt when I was hurting." Hurt people hurt people. Look at situations like this and realize that because of this person, you can learn so many things about the ways you should treat others. When someone you love hurts you like that, it's motivation to further appreciate and cherish the ones in your life, to not hurt them just because you are hurting; to react with compassion and learn from your mistakes and others who have wronged you. Perspective.

All this to say, perspective is important. Life is as beautiful as you make it out to be. You can choose to see the sunshine or you can choose to complain that it's hot. You can choose to see the storm or you can choose to see the beauty that will bloom from you because of it. Everything has purpose, dear friends. Perspective will take you from feeling content to feeling fulfilled; to feeling like your life matters, because it does; because whatever is happening to you now is the foundation for whatever blessings you will receive later. Stay positive, choose to see purpose, even in traffic.

Cover Image Credit: quotesgram.com

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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I Am Pro-Life, And I Am Tired Of Being Attacked For My Opinion

I am pro-life from a secular and logical standpoint.

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We live in a country based on free speech, so why are pro-lifers verbally and physically attacked for merely their stance on a controversial topic? Why is Instagram censoring pro-life voices? Social media users should be given both sides of the argument, then allowed to make an informed decision, but by showing them only pro-choice content, their opinion will be biased.

Harmless pro-life posts are being shadow-banned from popular hashtags, lowering reach and engagement. There is a problem when non-violent, non-hateful posts showcasing people holding up signs that say, "Voices for the Voiceless", are censored.

Why are pro-choicers allowed to share their opinions on social media and be praised, while pro-lifers lose followers for sharing a pro-life post? It is vital that people have different opinions, and shunning pro-lifers encourages homogeneity of political opinions. Pro-lifers should not lose friends. Pro-lifers should not be attacked. Pro-lifers should not be scared of speaking up for what they believe is right.

I am pro-life, but I respect everyone's opinion. Instead of shunning the opposite side, I try to hear them out and understand where they are coming from.

Instead of dismissing pro-lifers as being old white men trying to control women's bodies, why not hear them out and try to understand the reasoning behind their opinions?

I used to be neutral on the topic of abortion, until a month ago, when I saw something that completely changed my perspective. It was around the time Governor Kemp signed the fetal heartbeat bill in Georgia, and it was a hot topic, so I decided to do some research. I came across a sight called "Priests For Life". "Oh great", I thought, "This site is going to impose its Christian views of abortion on everyone." Once on the site, I clicked on a tab titled, "America Will Not Reject Abortion Until America Sees Abortion."

I clicked on the gallery, and was confronted with the cold hard truth. View the gallery with extreme caution, because the images/videos are VERY graphic.

From this site, I also discovered that planned parenthood harvests and sells the body parts of aborted babies. Keep in mind, Planned Parenthood, providing 1/3 of abortions in America, receives $500 million dollars yearly from taxpayers. Having taxpayers' money going toward reforming foster care would be a better idea in my opinion.

The Declaration of Independence states, "Endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness". The difference in opinion on whether the law should protect unborn children is a major factor that divides the pro-life and pro-choice movements.

In my humble opinion, I believe an unborn child should be protected by the law once a heartbeat is detected. We cannot dehumanize unborn children with euphemisms such as "clump of cells" or "potential life". We were all once "a clump of cells", and we still are. Can you name one non-living thing with a heartbeat? There is none.

The level of development of a human does not detract from his/her rights. All lives matter!

The most common pro-choice argument is "My body my choice." Yes, your body your choice, but when it's not your body, it's not your choice. The baby has its own unique set of DNA, its own organs, its own limbs, brain activity and a heartbeat. Just because a woman carries a baby does not give her a right to end his/her life.

Some may say the fetus cannot survive on its own, but a 1 month infant cannot either. A one month old infant depends on the care of a mother or guardian, and if it were to be left without food or water, it would not be able to fend for itself. Someone on life support cannot survive without the incubator. Elderly people with dementia depend on the care of staff in senior centers for survival.

The parasite argument is also a common one. Basic biology can refute this one. An unborn child in the womb is not a parasite, because for it to be a parasite it would have to be a different species than the mother, which would cause an adverse immune response.

"Everyone has the right to choose," is found on almost every pro-choice protest sign, and yes I agree. You have the right to choose to do whatever you want, but the second your actions harm another human's rights, a line must be drawn.

A women's right to choose ends when her baby's right to life begins.

Another common argument that is condescending towards pro-lifers is that they are pro-birth but not pro-life. Tell that to the thousands of pro-lifers adopting multiple children, giving them the best possible life. Tell that to the people outside of planned parenthood with signs that say "I will take your baby." Tell that to the numerous churches helping pregnant women. Tell that to the government who is giving single mothers tax breaks, food stamps and countless other resources.

The foster system may be flawed, but that is not justify ending the life of a child. More than 18,000 American families successfully adopt newborn babies in the United States every year.

Regardless, suffering is inevitable; you cannot end a child's life because he/she will live a difficult life. Instead, legislation should be passed to improve the foster care system and the adoption process. When a child is not aborted there is always hope, a chance, a possibility.

Some "pro-lifers" say, "I am pro-life for my body, but pro-choice for everyone else". This reasoning fails in many ways. You never hear anyone say, "I would never abuse my child, but I would never take away a parent's choice of if they want to abuse their child or not". Being pro-life means advocating for the defenseless, which means every single child, not just your own.

Women can do whatever they want with their lives, as long as their actions do not end the heartbeat of another human being.

All over social media, you see people sharing posts that say the women will be sentenced to 99 years of jail for having an abortion and 30 years for a miscarriage, but this is false. Often celebrities are the ones using their platforms to share these false statements. People should also fact-check the things they see on Instagram before believing them.

One line all pro-choicers say is "No uterus, no opinion". Let's not forget the people who made abortion legal were old, white men. This line is hypocrisy at its finest. If the line was "No prostate, no opinion", World War III would break out.

Most people are outraged by the fact that majority of the politicians who signed the heartbeat bill in Georgia were men, but let us not forget that Georgia residents vote for these representatives knowing the policies they advocate for. Around 40% of Americans are pro-life, and around 40% of women are pro-life, but these percentages are significantly greater in Conservative states, which explains the election of conservative representatives in Georgia and Alabama.

Pro-choicers often paint an image of pro-lifers as men who want to control the bodies of women, but that could not be any further from the truth. Abortion allows men to use women and not be held responsible for the consequences. Banning abortion teaches men responsibility and loyalty.

The purpose of the pro-life movement is not to control a woman's body but rather grant an innocent, unborn child the fundamental right to life.

Regardless of my pro-life stance, I do believe abortion should be allowed in RARE cases; for example, when the mother's health is in danger.

I agree these anti-abortion bills put a lot of stress on the mother, so I am all for increasing the involvement of the father. Whether it be increasing the amount and frequency of child support payments or making the father co-parent, it takes two to create a child, so the father should pull his weight.

Dr. Martin Luther King Sr. once said, "Every aborted baby is like a slave in the womb of his or her mother. The mother decides his or her fate."

This article is not meant to shun anyone who has had an abortion or is pro-choice. I respect your stance 100 percent. The purpose of this article is to address the social media bias towards liberal views of abortion and the stigma of leaning toward the right on abortion. There is no one right answer to this debate. It is not always black and white; that is why the abortion debate has been going on for decades.

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