The semester is officially in full swing. Of course, we all can't wait to learn new things in our classes *sarcasm*, but we seriously cannot wait to go back out and thrive with our favorite people ever. Whether it is a Thursday, Friday, or even Tuesday night, we all say these things to the only people who won't judge us...our roommates.
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Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.
You have been through all the college "firsts" together.
If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."
You were even each other's first real college friend.
You were even each other's first real college friend.
Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.
The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.
It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.
Late night talks were never more real.
Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.
You saw each other at your absolute lowest.
It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.
...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.
After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.
There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.
Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.
No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.
Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.
The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.
Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.
The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.
It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.
Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.
I know exactly when it began to creep back into my life. Somewhere between you leaving and me trying to get over you. It wasn't very obvious at first, in fact, I was more than confident in myself-in my mental wellbeing, thinking there was nothing at all wrong with my healing process. I would catch myself being an emotional wreck, or not being able to focus on anything around me because my thoughts would be running at full speed. I don't know where in the world they were running to. Probably somewhere far away from me considering I brought them nothing but aches and pains. Weeks had passed and I thought I was doing much better. I would go out with my friends almost on a daily basis, I guess drinking every day should have been the first sign of distress. I 'seemed' to feel happy, but every time I would come back to my empty apartment, pieces of me would just crumble, and all I wanted to do was distract myself.
I know exactly what the signs and symptoms of depression are, considering this isn't the first time I've been unfortunate enough to experience this dreadful illness. What upsets me the most, is not the fact that I am depressed because you left, no don't flatter yourself. I am feeling the way I am because I see how my life isn't turning. out the way I want it to. I keep comparing everything to my last semester, which was great, and can't help but feel so helpless and out of touch with my life. I only go out so much to distract and distance myself from, well, myself and all those uncontrollable thoughts that keep screaming at me. I no longer find comfort in my own home. All I want to do is be anywhere but at home. It's quite sad, considering your home is your space- a safe haven where your mind takes a break from all the crap in the real world.
That unsettling feeling is now living permanently at the bottom of my stomach, in all my limbs, in my head, and even in my heart. The feeling makes me wants to forget about everything in my life and sleep through it. I cannot focus on school, I cannot focus on work. This unsettling feeling has completely taken over my entire life and it sucks.