As someone who has worked in retail for a few years now, every time I think I have heard it all, a customer comes into the store and completely surprises me. The holidays are officially here and Black Friday is upon us. Stores are jam packed with people trying to get the best deals possible for Christmas, and sometimes, I don't think customers understand how ridiculous some of the things they say are to us. Here is a list of just some of the things in my experience that I am tired of hearing, and I'm sure others who have worked in retail will agree with a ton of these as well.

1. "It won't scan, it must be free!"

It still amazes me how much I hear this one...This was never funny people and it never will be.

2. "Are you sure you don't have any more in the back?" or "Can you double check anyway?"

I'm not sure why some customers' seem to think that there is a magical land in the back that just continually makes whatever item you want in the exact size you need, but If I say there is no more of the item you are looking for in the back, then yes I am sure. Do not come back to me or go to another person I am working with and ask again five minutes later. If I thought there was even a chance that shirt in your hand was back there, I would go check for you. If I say there is no more in the back, there is definitely no more in the back.

3. "I really need [out of stock item] today though..."

...What exactly would you like me to do about that? I don't know what to tell you. I know you people think our stock room is this magical place but I'm sorry, I cannot just suddenly make this item appear in our store today just because you "need it."

4. "I've been waiting for a really long time, you people should really be more efficient."

We have three registers in the store and three people working as fast as they can on each of them. You are Christmas shopping...guess what! So is everyone else! It's that time of year again and you're not the only one who is going to have to wait in long lines if you want to purchase your items. Suck it up!

5. "I'd like to return this, I don't have a receipt, I'd like cash back, please."

So basically what you are saying is, "I have no proof that I actually purchased this instead of shoving it in my purse and I want you to give me money for that." No. Just no...

6. "I need that one shirt...I think it's like reddish, and has that one thing on it...you know which one I'm talking about."

No, I really don't. I have no idea what you are saying. Give me a more accurate description and maybe I can help you.

7. "Where is your holiday spirit? Smile it's Christmas! You should look happier!"

I've been working for eight hours, my feet hurt, the store is trashed because of customer's like you, I have probably been yelled at 10 times so far today for things beyond my control, and I'm exhausted. Don't tell me to smile.

8. "I know you should have closed 5 minutes ago but can I try on this pile of clothes?"

"Sure!" I say as I cry on the inside.

9. "How can that be my total? There is no way that is right!"

I'm not even good at math and I can tell you that when you add all of the prices together, that is indeed your total. But, for your sake, let me just go through and tell you exactly what you paid for everything you bought...

10. "I am never shopping here again, I'll just go to [insert competitor's name here.]"

Okay, bye. I still get a paycheck whether you shop here or not. I'm not forcing you into this store and making you shop here. Feel free to shop wherever you want and not shop wherever you don't want to shop. Have fun irritating the workers wherever you just threatened to go and I will most likely see you next week when you decide to come back after saying that you wouldn't.

11. "Do you work here?"

No. I am wearing this lanyard with the company name on it and folding these sweaters over and over again for fun.

12. "I'm shopping for my daughter who is not here with me right now but do you think this would fit her? I'm not sure what size she is."

What? Okay, I can make some pretty accurate guesses about sizing if the person is right in from of me but you seriously expect me to answer that question when I have never seen your kid before in my life?

13. "This tester bottle of perfume is half empty, we will have to negotiate on the price."

For the last time, I DO NOT CONTROL THE PRICES. DO NOT TRY TO NEGOTIATE WITH ME.

14. Me: "Would you like the receipt with you or in the bag?" Customer: "Yes."

This is not a yes or no question...now I am just standing here awkwardly holding your receipt because I don't know what to do with it.

And last but not least...the one that annoys me the most:

15. "Do you want one of my kids?"

Hopefully, most of you out there think this is crazy and would never say this to someone but yes, I hear this more than you would think. People have actually asked me if I want one of their kids because they have been shopping all day and are annoyed that their kids are getting restless because of it. Not long ago a customer actually asked me if I would, "buy his four bratty kids for $20.00." People...please think before you speak. You don't know anything about the person behind the counter ringing you out or what their life is like. There are so many people out there who would love to have children of their own and are fully aware that they can't have them. Be a decent human being and don't ask anyone if they want your kids just because you are annoyed by them at the moment. No matter who you say it to, you are probably going to make someone upset or uncomfortable in some way. Just don't.

Please try to remember these things as you are doing your shopping at any time of year, but especially on Black Friday and throughout the holiday season. Remember that retail employees are there to help you and are just trying to make your experience in the store a good one, don't make it harder than it has to be.