Thanks to popular culture and mass media, we all know college is a weird place, but somehow the theater department provides a level of surrealism rarely attained by any other major on campus. On a day to day basis, your life in the theater department is no more reliable than a coin toss--sometimes it's fantastic, but other times, it's exceptionally painful. Here are 15 moments that will leave you wondering whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the crazy nonsense of this outrageous department.
1. Being the “new kid” has never been more terrifying.
It’s nearly impossible to start a conversation with someone because everyone’s already deep in the middle of a conversation. And you can’t help but wonder if all the “clique” stereotypes are true.
2. You accept that you’ll be single and alone for a while.
Let’s just say if you’re a straight, cis-gendered individual looking for love, it’s not easy. But if you do manage to date someone and break up, there's a good chance you blew your one shot.
So, if you really want to date, you may just be forced to swallow your pride and re- download Tinder... even though you swore never again.
3. You don’t know what other involvements are.
What even is life outside of EO Bull? When was the last time I left this building?
4. Everyone knows everything about everyone.
Secrets and personal problems spread like wildfire. Trust no one.
5. When you’re not cast, you feel like a lost puppy.
You'll probably wonder what you did last semester before getting cast, why is there no director breathing down your neck to be off book, and why there is no stage manager ordering you to be somewhere from 6 to 10 each night.
And there's a good chance you'll wander around the theater building when there's no reason for you to be these just so you can remember the “good ole days."
6. Your family will say, “Of course you got straight As. You don’t take real classes.”
Excuse me? I’m sorry, but I deserve this grade. I earned this grade. With lines to memorize, scenes to rehearse, history to memorize, shop hours to complete, and songs to brush up on, I have NO. FREE. TIME.
Oh, and let's not forget, we're still required to take all those gen-ed courses.
7. You’re savage AF when you’re at a callback or audition.
You might be best friends with someone, but if they’re going for the same role as you, there's a good chance you've considered shunning them for a week.
Or maybe that’s just me?
I mean, what even is sportsmanship?
8. Getting tickets for the family is a struggle and a half if the show is being held in JP Adler Studio Theatre.
Especially when all the introduction to theater classes are forced to see the show. You'd think the professors would know by now that there are just not enough seats. As actors, we'd rather perform the show for five people who actually want to be there, as opposed to a full house full of people who are on their phone or sleeping.
9. It’s impossible not to compare yourself to other people in the department. Enough said.
10. You still don’t know wtf you’re doing half the time and struggle with abandoning the concept of “getting it right.”
11. You will never watch anything ever again for the sheer enjoyment of it.
What type of acting choice was that?
12. If one person gets sick, the whole department gets sick, and dear god, if anyone ever got mono ever we’d all be toast.
13. You sit there during conversations your friends have not understanding the musical theater references.
Maybe you’ll look it up when you’re done writing all those *pointless* reflection papers you pull out of your butt 15 minutes before they're due.
14. There are so many things that are not in the curriculum that you're dying to learn.
Sorry, Method and Meisner. I'm sort of in a relationship with Stanislavski. He's not that great. Sigh.
15. There’s a good chance you’ll face the dilemma, “Is getting a degree worth it?”
Or should I just go to New York or Los Angeles and see what happens?
But for whatever reason, you stay in school, and despite all the highs and lows, you enjoy it.
