We all know those people who post pictures on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram captioning it "Lake Life." I'm not sure how many of you actually live what I call the, "Real Lake Life" where you are there for every season. Here are 15 things a "Real Lake Life" person hates hearing.
One: It's Lake season
Uhm correction, if you live that "lake life" there isn't a "lake season." In the winter you go skate, fish, and snowmobile on the lake right out of your backyard, no landing needed. When spring comes around you appreciate the awful looking grass because you know its only a couple more weeks till the docks and lifts are being put in! In the summer, you should know. Boats, jet skis, tubing, relaxing, bonfires, s'mores, everything that makes life worth living. When fall comes around you dread the day you have to take everything out of the water, but really enjoy how beautiful the lake looks with the colorful trees surrounding it. Every season, is lake season.
Two: I've never driven a jet ski.
HOW ARE YOU A HUMAN BEING?! Jet skis make the world go round at a lake, they are the nuisance, the joy, and the laughter. Who has ever seen anyone on a jet ski that isn't happy? Exactly my point, however; Just because you said that and I feel terrible for you, does not mean I will allow you to take mine out for a trial run. Get your own or get out.
Three: Really missing the lake right now...
Stop. Stop. Stop right there. If you can go and enjoy it in the summer, what is stopping you in the winter? Is it too cold for you? I know that wind whipping across can give a bite, but if you can't take the bite you don't deserve the heat. Quit saying you're missing it, it hasn't moved and nothing is stopping you from seeing it.
Four: Why has the lake risen?
I don't know sweetie... maybe it's because of the ice and snow that were on it in the winter. I mean you should know since you live that "lake life."
Five: Have you ever been to the Island?
I can't believe you are even asking me that question... OBVIOUSLY I have been on the island. Can you even consider yourself a part of the lake if you haven't? Bless your soul hunny.
Six: Do you like know everyone here?
No... *names every single cabin and camper you pass* It's a gift and yet a sin to know everyone around the lake. Parents are like high schoolers at the lake, gossip is everywhere so don't mess up. Actually I suggest you mess up, it's really fun to see how long it takes to get back to someone you know.
Seven: Can I try that?
This is always the worst thing you could hear, it can mean so many different things. They could want to try tubing with you, which is so bad because you and your lake buddies would like to consider yourselves pros at it. Or driving your four-wheeler, that ends in accidents, I know from experience. Don't let them drive ANYTHING.
Eight: Don't you ever get lonely out here?
Not one bit, to be honest I like when all the lake people come and it gets busy, but I also like when they all leave. After the summer comes to an end and everyone leaves you really enjoy the lake the most, you have no one you have to share it with and the beauty they are missing out on is totally worth it. As much as you think we may get lonely out here, we are just secretly planning a ton of revenges that need to take place from last summers events. So no, we do not get lonely.
Nine: I bet your lake is so fun on The Fourth.
Well obviously, and if that's a swing at getting me to invite you, LOL. The Fourth Of July is one of the best weeks out at the lake. Literally everyone comes out to celebrate. It usually starts with boat parades, kicking it in the back bay all day, grilling on the pontoon, and in at night for fireworks. Well actually you go in to change and get mosquito spray then head back out to watch the fireworks from the water.
Ten: Labour Day weekend is the worst
Actually it's not, you are. I like Labour Day weekend, it's usually not very nice out and everyone else has to take their boats and lifts out. While they are all working so hard I sit back and watch, living at the lake year round definitely has its perks.
Eleven: Do you own any non-waterproof makeup?
First of all, why are you wearing makeup at the lake? Second of all no. We are at the lake, no one wears makeup because we are always in the water, or being thrown into it. Pointless to waste money when you put makeup on for it to come right back off. Your loss hunny, your loss.
Twelve: Do you ever wish you lived in town, closer to your friends?
No, Heck to the no. Give all this up for a park and some friends houses? LOL. I love waking up every morning seeing the lake no matter if it's rough or smooth. Yes at times when I couldn't drive I wished I was closer to friends and I'm sure my mom did, but now I'd never trade it for anything.
Thirteen: Do you ever go to any other lake?
OH. MY. GREEN ALGAE. DID YOU JUST REALLY ASK ME THAT?! I would never cheat on my lake, no matter how green and algae filled it is, I will not. If I ever do and I mean ever, I feel so guilty and it breaks my heart. Don't ask me to go to your cousin's BBQ on a different lake, I already have plans to be on mine.
Fourteen: My side of the lake is better than yours.
Grow up. No one wants to hear about how many great things your side has, ours has twice that and more. Side of the lake rivals will forever be something even though we both share an amazing place and love each other... somewhat equally.
Fifteen: What are night games?
You need to escort yourself off of my lawn and drive back to your city life. Night games are the games you play at the bonfire, but it's night time hence why we call them "night games." Of course they range in a variety of different things but most involve hiding and attacking one another. Cheers to late nights at the fire.
I hope that all of you Instagraming, Facebooking, Tweeting people saying "lake life" really know what it entails. Happy boating and bonfires! Cheers to summer 2016.
