Before college, home and school existed in the same realm. I would drive to school in the morning and spend the first part of the day with my friends in the world of academia. After classes, I'd then head to ballet and then home where I would catch up with my family about each of our days. I had my daily dose of friends, family, extracurriculars without particularly going out of my way—which I now realize I took for granted.
Like many other rising college freshmen, moving into a dorm and living away from my parents was a radical lifestyle change. I was deposited into an alien world separate from the comfort and familiarity of home and my high school friends. And so, I adapted. I quickly set new roots in this foreign environment and made new connections, created new habits and became involved in new activities. Life began to feel normal again, and I was able to feel at home at college.
However, I still had a foot in my old universe with my parents, friends and old haunts. I was reminded of this whenever I called home and video chatted with my mom; she would show me all of the animals and give me updates on how each critter was faring. I felt different, however, like I was an outsider peering in on a world that I used to be part of. I felt a strange sense of distance as if I was on another planet.
Going home over winter break and spring break provided a sense of relief—I was back on my home planet, surrounded by familiar faces and places. However, there was still a sense of nostalgia that would arise whenever I went to the kitchen and found that the bowls were in a different place, or when none of my high school friends were on the island. Home wasn’t really the same place it used to be. But maybe, it didn’t have to be.
In college, I live in two worlds. In one universe I have my academics, sleepless nights, new friends and independence. In the other I have my family, my pets, and my old friends. I used to live a life of consistency and routine, but now I traverse between two very different environments that hardly overlap. I live in constant flux, shifting from one atmosphere to the other.
Although one could view this lifestyle as nomadic, I prefer to think of it as broadening the place I call home. I now know I’m welcome and loved in two different places, and I can experience academic and personal growth while still feeling comfort and support from home. As I become more aware of my developing identity, I still have my roots back home to keep my grounded and secure.
