Over my 21 years of life, I have never had a serious relationship. There, I said it. I’m not ashamed. I used to be really insecure about this, but the older I get, the more I understand that it isn't my fault and that my time will come when it's right. However, it has been frustrating growing up and watching as all my friends move in and out of relationships so easily. I would often wonder why the same just wasn't happening for me, why I wasn't attracting the right guys, why guys seemed to just look past me. Don't even get me started on the hell on earth that is Valentine's Day.

But while I haven't had a relationship, I have been able to learn so much about them from watching those around me, and I feel that when the amazing day comes when I do get a boyfriend, I'll be a better girlfriend from all my years of observing my friends' relationships. However, one of the downsides of being the "perpetually single girl" is having to deal with all the questions, comments, and "advice" from others. While I do appreciate it sometimes, other times it downright annoys and bothers me. Here are 15 things that I, as well as many other single women, are tired of hearing

1. Why are you single?

Seriously?? I literally get asked this so many times. Gosh if I knew the answer to this then I certainly wouldn't be single, now would I?

2. You're so ____! How could you not have a boyfriend?

Just because someone is talented, beautiful, an amazing friend, etc doesn't mean that they automatically have to be connected to someone. Why can't I just be awesome on my own? My identity and worth don't rest on having a romantic partner.

3. You're just too picky

Uh, and so what if I am? In my experience, "good" guys are hard to find and I for one will not waste my time settling for someone who isn't right for me just so I won't be alone. You may see it as pickiness, I see it as being cautious and knowing what I want.

4. So you're a prude?

Ok, personal much? Me being single gives you absolutely no right to ask me about my sex life or moral values. It is none of your business, end of story. And just because a girl is single doesn't mean she is automatically either promiscuous or "prudish." And if you ask a woman this question, you're kind of an inconsiderate, rude person.

5. It will happen when you least expect it!

Please, for the love of God stop saying this. How is this suppose to make me feel better? "Wow thank's Becky I guess I'll just stop thinking about finding a guy and then my life will miraculously turn into an episode of The Bachelorette! Why didn't I think of that?" But really, there's no helpful advice given by saying this to someone. Relationships happen when they happen, and usually when you ARE expecting it.

6. Aw, don't worry, the right guy is out there!

Oh yeah? Can you point me in the direction then? I've seemed to have lost my map...

7. Have you tried online dating?

Ugh not everyone thinks that online dating is the right solution for them. I’m personally the type of girl who would rather meet someone in person than swipe through 100s of profiles on a silly app. Don’t just assume that I’m so desperate to find someone that I’ve signed up for every dating app out there. Good things take time.

8. Maybe try changing your personality

What does that even mean? Don’t tell someone they have to change themselves to attract a partner. Someone who’s really worthy of being with me will accept me just as I am. Never change yourself for anyone. The right one will take you as you are and love your faults just as much as your strengths.

9. Just go up to a guy and ask him out!

Do you know just how intimidating that can be? While it’s true guys do like it when a woman is sure of herself and approaches him, at the same time if he’s not interested that can end up being pretty embarrassing for the woman. And guys can be harder to read than women, so we end up not knowing just what he’s thinking or feeling unless we straight up ask. Plus with the pressure of being told guys should make the first move, this can throw a woman off. However, it’s 2018. A woman should approach someone she’s interested in just as much as a man should. But still, that can be a very uneasy thing for most women to do.

10. You're way too pretty to be single

So my beauty is only relevant if I’m dating someone? What’s wrong with being “pretty” and single? Why must a woman be attached to someone just because she’s considered to be attractive? My looks aren’t the only qualities about me. What about being smart, ambitious, strong? No one ever says “you’re too smart/ambitious to be single.” It’s time society stops assuming that a woman’s physical appearance isn’t worthy enough to stand on its own. Why even make comments about her appearance anyhow? Why should that be the main factor in determining one’s relationship status? My beauty is just as worthy with or without a man.

11. Oh, I should set you up with my friend's guy friend it would be soooo cute!

Ok, you sound like you’re trying to make me a charity case. I don’t need help finding someone. I don’t need you to play matchmaker with me. I’ll find someone when I find someone and it’ll be on MY terms. While I appreciate your consideration, don’t make me feel like I’m some lonely, desperate woman who needs to have a man around. And besides, those random setups seldom ever work out anyway. It feels forced.

12. I met my husband when I was your age

This is likely one of the most unhelpful, irritating comments. Everyone’s on their own timelines first of all, second, what do you expect to gain from saying this to me? While I’m happy you found your forever person at such a young and difficult age, that isn’t making me feel any better about being single right now. It actually makes me feel anxious, like I’m running out of time to find love.

13. You need to just stop being so shy and scared

I can’t help how I am. I’m a naturally shy, anxious person. That means the dating world is ten times scarier for me. Facing rejection is an intimidating, even frightening experience and I’ve been through that enough to not want to keep subjecting myself to it. Yes, I need to gain more confidence and self-assurance, but it’s not a one day fix, and saying that I should just “snap out of it” will definitely not help me snap out of it. This is something I need to work through. And the right guy will understand.

14. Just hook up with the guy, he'll want to date you then

If the only way a guy will “date you” is if you sleep with him first, then he’s not the right one. Yes, intimacy is an important factor in any relationship, but it shouldn’t be the deciding factor of one. It shouldn’t feel forced. EVER. A guy who is right for you will respect you wanting to take it slow and will get to know you first before bringing up sex. Why sleep with someone if he’s just going to drop you the next day? Doesn’t seem worth it to me. However, if that’s what you also want to do then by all mean do so, as there is no right or wrong way to go about this stuff. But if you would rather wait and the guy doesn’t find someone who will

15. “Please give me relationship advice!”

Why are you asking me this? I’ve never had a relationship. What makes you think I can help you? While I appreciate you wanting my advice and opinions, I may not be the best one to ask. It’s like asking someone who’s never driven a car before to explain how driving works or someone who’s never played soccer before how the game works. Plus, it only makes us single people feel more left out when you talk about your relationship with us. While we’re over the moon happy for you, it can make us feel like we’re missing out.

In sum, while it's nice to be offered advice and tips regarding dating and how to find someone, it's important to remember that people need their space and time to figure out what they want. Being single doesn't mean someone's unhappy. I for sure am very happy with my life and don't see my being single as a reason to be discouraged. But what does make me discouraged is when others assume I must be doing something wrong or am really lonely. I'm not lonely, actually, I have tons of great people in my life who make me happy. Besides, if your happiness is dependent on having a romantic partner, then you're not truly happy yourself.

Would I like a boyfriend? Very much so! But I know that when the time is right it'll happen for me. Being single isn't a "cry for help" like our society paints it to be. It's just the way things are for myself and millions of other people. So the next time you feel like making a negative comment or asking someone a stupid question like "why are you single/why don't you just ask someone out?" think about how that person might feel by you asking them such, and take their feelings into consideration. Dating should be fun, not an expectation.