It's no secret that our feline companions have put themselves on a pedestal above all other forms of life. They clearly have figured something out, as humans worship these furry, sarcastic creatures. How is it possible for such an animal to be so narcissistic, yet make people swoon over it. How did these creatures become such idols for humanity? The answer is simply. They are simply superior to their human counterparts.
1. Cats are physically cooler than you, and they know it. A study found that cats were able to recognize their owners voices. With that being said the study also showed cats are too cool to care. They are literally too cool for you.
2. If you're impressed by "19 Kids and Counting," then you'll love Dusty the cat. She gave birth to 420 kittens in her lifetime.
3. Cats are superb politicians. In fact, they have more political experience than Donald Trump. Stubbs the cat has been mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska for 15 years. If you will be voting in this upcoming election, please consider writing in Stubbs, as he will do a better job running this country. #MakeAmericaMeowAgain
4. When the world runs out of freshwater and everyone dies, cats will flourish. Who runs the world? Cats. They can drink salt water and be totally fine and refreshed. This is due to their extremely efficient kidneys.
5. A cat inherited 15 million dollars when its owner died. This cat is richer than you. Let that sink in.
6. According to the Harry Potter series, a bezoar will save you from most poisons. With that being said, a cat's hairball is actually called a bezoar. Next time someone is poisoned, do not call poison control. Instead, locate the nearest feline and ask for help. If the cat won't help you, which it probably won't because you're not cool enough, consider calling poison control.
7. A Floridian man once tried to blame his cat for the downloaded child pornography on his laptop.
8. Cats were used to spy on the soviets in the 60s. "Great moments are born from great opportunity."
9. If cats had to pay water bills, theirs would be much lower than yours, as they can use their tongues to clean themselves.
10. A group of cats is called a clowder. Cue Katney. Ain't nobody f*cking with my clowder, clowder, clowder.
11. Cats only sweat from their paws. Knees weak, paws are sweaty. There's hairballs on his sweater already.
12. Cats are smarter than you and I. It’s the depressing truth but they really just are. How else could a creature get away with sleeping 12-16 hours a day. They will sleep about 60-70 percent of their lives. In comparison to humans who will spend that time working and providing for their cat master.
13. The ancient Egyptians worshiped cats, primarily their cat goddess named Bastet. Killing a cat during this time period would result in the death penalty.
14. For humans prone to strokes and heart attacks, you should probably buy a cat. Owning a cat reduces your risk for these diseases by a third. So go buy three actually. You’re welcome.
15. Cats are just all around better looking than us.
